I heard two stories today that both
completely broke my heart, but then, if possible, put it back together even
more full than it was before.
The first story was about a couple. Larissa
and Ian met while they were in college and fell in love. After 10 months of
dating Ian got into an accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury. He had to have surgery on his brain, and
slowly started to recover little by little. Today, Larissa and Ian are married.
Ian is able to talk somewhat, and he is learning to walk.
I really encourage you all to watch this video on their story. I am not sure I have ever seen Gods love displayed in such a selfless
and incredible way.
With Larissa as the caretaker of the family
and Ian barley able to speak – it is possible that they will never be able to
do things that normal couples are able to do.
If you’re a single human being (I would say
“girl”, but I know for a fact guys think about stuff like this too) then I am
sure that whenever you think about being married, it is not uncommon for you to
think things like; “I cannot wait to be married and…(insert exciting/fun
activity here)...” I always think about this kind of stuff.
For instance…I really have not been all that
interested in doing fun things with my guy friends lately because honestly…I’m
just at the point where I would rather just do something by myself than go on
an adventure with someone who is not going to be my husband.
Maybe that sounds weird…but I would rather
just not put any time or effort into relationships with guys when I am not
interested in them romantically…I think I’ve just come to the place where I
know that one day I’ll probably have to say something like the following to my
future husband: “Hey, I am so sorry that I wasted all this time and energy on
guys who really ended up being nothing in my life…but at least in the end I got
my act together!”
I don’t know…I’m just not interested in
settling anymore. And if an amazing guy comes along…I don’t want to be caught
up with someone else who I know I don’t have/want a future with and miss out on
my opportunity to be with this other guy…yah know? Alright…I’m getting off
track…
Anywho…just watching this video of this
couple really convicted me.
I can’t even tell you how many times thoughts
have entered my mind about how I cannot even fathom what TRUE LOVE would be
like. Like GENUINE PURE SELFLESS LOVE.
Christ’s love for us! OF COURSE! But – what
does that look like when displayed in a romantic relationship? And even more
so, what in the WORLD would that look like displayed in a romantic relationship
in MY life?! I couldn’t tell yah! I’ve never experienced it.
I’m not just talking about someone loving me
this way. Truthfully…I am talking about me loving someone else this way.
I am about as selfish as selfish gets. I
whine and obsess over the little things. Everything has to be my way. I
basically cry and stress over spilled water. It’s ridiculous. (I know…you’re
only thinking about how absurd and obnoxious life with me would be…now’s you’re
chance to run…)
But when my relationship with and love for
Christ is flourishing - - so is my love for others.
And the love that this couple displays – it’s
pure selflessness.
It’s not about the thousand of big and little
things that normal couples get to experience together and adventures they get
to go on…it is about their genuine love for each other and their genuine love
and desire for God.
Pure beauty.
Besides absolutely everything about this
video, there were two things that stuck out to me:
When talking about what’s important in their
relationship, Larissa says:
“Ian always comes back to the foundational
truths of who God is, and kind of reels me back in from my emotions.”
Maybe this just seems like a simple comment –
one that every Godly couple should be able to say.
But I’ve never had that.
I wish I could count the exact times I have
thought (and others have told me) about how I need someone who is able to
handle me…but I’m starting to think that maybe it really isn’t all about “me”
or “who” will be able to “handle me”
I’ve been in stubborn relationships before
where the person I am with and I are not afraid to tell each other how WE feel
or what WE think or what WE believe to be true. But I have never – NOT ONCE –
ever, been with someone who directs me back to the “foundational truths of who
God is”
Not once have I experienced a time where my
boyfriend and I were disagreeing and him open up the bible and us explore how
God feels on the matter.
But some day.
The second thing that stuck out to me:
Larissa and Ian were going through This Momentary Marriage by John Piper with
two of their friends. When talking about different things that the couples
could learn from each other, Larissa expressed something that the other couple
may have been able to learn from her and Ian:
“…maybe the little things that they’re
excited about marriage are worth being excited about but they’re not the end
all and be all of their marriage.”
I know I basically already buried this
horse…but at the moment…I just can’t get over how selfish I can be.
The things that I allow myself to get caught
up on at times…really aren’t that important in the scheme of things…
Everything that I have always thought to be
so important…is just kind of fading…
I encourage you to watch the above video on
Larissa and Ian…and if you have time – do some more googling on the couple. Maybe they will encourage you as much as
they have encouraged me.
“Marriage is not
mainly about prospering economically; it is mainly about displaying the
covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. Knowing Christ is more
important than making a living. Treasuring Christ is more important than
bearing children. Being united to Christ by faith is a greater source of
marital success than perfect sex and double-income prosperity.
If we make secondary
things primary, they cease to be secondary and become idolatrous. They have
their place. But they are not first, and they are not guaranteed. . . . So it
is with marriage. It is a momentary gift. It may last a lifetime, or it may be
snatched away on the honeymoon. Either way, it is short. It may have many
bright days, or it may be covered with clouds. If we make secondary things
primary, we will be embittered at the sorrows we must face. But if we set our
face to make of marriage mainly what God designed it to be, no sorrows and no
calamities can stand in our way. Every one of them will be, not an obstacle to
success, but a way to succeed. The beauty of the covenant-keeping love between
Christ and his church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it.”
-
John Piper
Alright…Story #2 from today:
During high school bible study tonight, the
woman leading it was talking about how Christ changes people.
She talked about a girl who had been molested
by her father at a young age. Since then, the father has accepted Christ and
become a COMPLETELY different person, and because of this – the girl and her
father are able to have a healthy relationship today.
This is the power of Christ.
I think it’s safe to say that we all have
been hurt by someone that we allowed to have our trust.
Maybe some of us have been hurt in greater
ways than others – nevertheless – it is all hurt and it is all pain. And it all
can be crippling.
How do you forgive someone who has done
something like this to you?
Not only that – how do you get to the point
of healing and forgiveness that you not only are able to verbally tell this
person that you forgive them and mean it, but you are also able to have a NEW
HEALTHY relationship with them?!?!
“I wish I could save you” – words I once
spoke to someone who was dear to me. It took a few years of knowing this person
until I was truly able to understand the sort of life they lived. Struggling
every day with bitterness and anger towards a past abuser. Pushing people away
left and right and putting on a “happy” face. Being overcome by insecurities
and confusion…because of their ignored pain, this person only knew how to hurt
others, instead of accepting the love that people wanted to give them. I
watched them each and every day, create and entertain new thoughts of hatred
toward others. Creating false, destructive, situations and swearing up and down
that they were legitimate. This was the first time in my life that the idea of
paranoia was actually a reality. A reality that my life could have survived
without. I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually abused by this person.
I was the textbook story for someone who was in an abusive relationship, the
poster child for codependency. After I got out – I was not sure how long it
would take before I would stop crying myself to sleep because of the pain I
allowed myself to experience. It took months for me to no longer shutter at a
knock on the door or the sound of my phone ringing for fear it was this person.
I had no idea if I would ever again feel safe walking to and from my car by
myself. I really did not think it was possible for me to experience a
relationship free from lying and hiding, for fear of the other person thinking
I was doing who knows what. I could go on about the emotional damage that this
relationship left on me – but none of that really matters anymore. Don’t get me
wrong – it is serious. Is it extremely serious – and I would never take my
situation – or any other situation similar to mine lightly. Tears are still
brought to my eyes when I think about the destructive lifestyle I allowed
myself to live for over a year. How I allowed myself to be hurt in such a way
that really no person should ever have to go through. And my heart still aches
when I think about how I hurt so many other people in my life who cared about
me…and when I think about how God must have felt being there for every part of
it.
But what I meant by “it doesn’t matter
anymore” was…it no longer has power over me. It no longer affects me and
cripples me the way that it did. I no longer carry hatred or anger towards this
person…I’m not afraid of developing relationships with people anymore…I’m free.
Because of Christ’s love and forgiveness – I am free! Yes – I still bawl my
eyes out when I watch a movie where a woman is being abused and then finally
stands up to her abuser…but that’s because of the bitter-sweet feeling I get
when I remember the hope that each and every person in a similar situation has.
The sweet sweet hope of Jesus Christ.
I have no idea how people live without it.
So maybe there are completely different
lessons to be learned by these two stories…or maybe not so much.
They both are thread with a love greater than anything that I have ever
dreamed of.
A love that is able to HEAL and EMPOWER and
RESTORE. A love that is able to take one woman and turn her into a being so
selfless that she sacrifices her life each and every day to take care of her
husband because of her faith and love for Christ. And a love that is more than
able to strengthen and guide her each and every day through whatever life
throws at her. A love that causes her to live above every day dealings that a
normal person might consider inconvenient or imperfect. A love that replaces
all pride and self-worries with humility and hope.
And a love that takes a relationship broken
and torn by one of the most disgusting and disturbing acts – and turns it into
something so sweet and pure. A love that restores. A love that takes what you
and I might see as impossible – and turns it into one of the most beautiful
truths.
Only the love of Christ can accomplish such
things. And it’s all in a moments work for Him.
I am in awe at how this very same love lives
inside of you and me.
And yet, I still have the nerve to wonder
each day – how I will forgive this person or that person for simple petty
things which they have done to me.
I still get caught up in my prideful ways of
trying to convince myself that I “deserve” to be angry and this person or that
person because of something they have done.
But it’s not about me and the feelings I
convince myself that I am entitled to.
It is about forgiveness. And love. And
Christ. And living ABOVE the problems that this world dishes out every day.
I really cannot wait until I am free of all
that is human nature inside of me…
So to this person who hurt me so deeply, I
FORGIVE YOU. Because God loves and forgives me – I am able to love and forgive
you. And I pray that if you haven’t already – that one day you truly find the
genuine peace, healing, love and forgiveness that Christ wants you to have.
Because of Christ – I am able to say that I TRULY DO hope that you find Gods’
best for you and I DO hope that you find pure JOY in Christ and that your life
is utterly beautiful – in good times and bad.
“Our courts are filled with terrible criminal
cases. Stalkers, slashers, terrorists, abusers, murderers, even serial killers.
We read of a man who has killed sixty people – murdered them in the most
gruesome of ways. We watch him sit in court and smile through his trial, and we
think, what an animal! And so he may be. But what is easy to ignore is this:
The same animal-like nature resides in me, and it resides in you. It is wicked
to the core. It is vile beyond belief. And were it not for the presence of
grace and the miraculous deliverance of Jesus Christ at work within us,
controlling our passions and urging us to forgive and more on, it would consume
us. And we would kill and not give it a second thought.
How absolutely powerless we are to solve our
own inner problem of evil. Were not the power of the Holy Spirit given to me in
daily doses, literally moment-by-moment doses, my grudges, my lack of
forgiveness could grow into thoughts that would shock you. And yours would
shock me…
It is for this very reason that God invaded
our polluted world in the Person of His Son, Jesus Christ. We’re not able to
help ourselves, but the Lord Jesus can. He opened the door to forgiveness and
power on the cross on which He was placed. He let nails be driven into His
hands and feet, and He hung and died there, so that whoever would believe in
Him would never perish in their own sin and evil. Somehow, in some wonderful
way, the blood that came from His body serves as an internal detergent that
washes away our sins. No words I could give you, or that anyone could give you,
will do that. But the blood of Christ will.”
-
Charles Swindoll, Esther: A Woman of
Strength and Dignity
