It seems
like I have been in my car a lot lately.
I went to
Phoenix a few weekends ago and decided that instead of listening to Justin
Biebers new cd on repeat…I was going to actually do something productive with
my 7 hour drive and listen to podcasts!
(Actually…I
first tried to listen to Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone on Audible…but it
is just as boring listening to that
book, as it is trying to read it! I mean – I LOVE the Harry Potter movies. They
are some of my favorites…but I just can’t get through the first book…………….it’s
soooo boring...so I thought I would try listening to it while I had the time in
the car…but it was awful. Don’t worry though – I decided to start with the
third book [since that’s the movie where I start getting really into the story]
and I like it much better! So I will read the first two books once I read the
last five =] okay…..this is the longest subsentence ever…….I think I just made
that word up….)
Anywho…so I
decided to listen to podcasts from Willow Creek Community Church. Willow Creek
is located in Chicago. I first learned about it last year when I went to a
satellite showing of the Global Leadership Summit. The Summit is hosted at
Willow Creek by Bill Hybels, the Senior Pastor at the church.
Bill, along
with another Pastor at the church, Steve Carter, did a five-week series called
“Disturbing Grace”.
Steve opened
the series with this gut-wrenching piece of truth:
“God’s grace is disturbing. It’s
compelling and expansive. It provokes, unrattles and unnerves. It demands that
you see God and yourself and others in an entirely new redemptive light.”
When I first
heard this – I had to rewind it a few times to completely gather what he was
saying.
God’s grace
is disturbing.
God’s grace is
compelling.
God’s grace
is expansive.
God’s grace
provokes.
God’s grace
unrattles.
God’s grace
unnerves.
God’s grace
demands that you see God in an
entirely new redemptive light.
God’s grace
demands and you see yourself in an
entirely new redemptive light.
God’s grace
demands that you see others in an
entirely new redemptive light.
Have you
ever been hurt?
I mean – truly hurt…
By someone
whom you placed your complete confidence in and thought you could trust 100%?
Someone who,
when they hurt and betrayed you, caught you completely off guard? You never saw
it coming. Maybe you saw tiny red flags…but nothing that would have given you
any indication that they would hurt go to such extremes to hurt you…
Or maybe you
saw bigger red flags…red flags that you knew you shouldn’t have ignored…but you
did…because you cared about the person – and/or because you wanted to give them
the benefit of the doubt…you want to believe in them and trust them.
Maybe if was
a family member or a best friend. Or maybe it was a co-worker. Or a boyfriend
or girlfriend…
No matter
who it was – they hurt you.
But you
don’t want to be bitter. Because you know, that if life has taught you
anything, it is that being bitter IS NOT
being better.
So you want
to extend grace.
But you are
having somewhat of a difficult time trying to figure out exactly what that
means…
Here’s what
I can tell you…
We think people hurt us.
We think
that the pain and the betrayal that we experience from certain people is an
end-all.
And we think
that because we have been hurt, we have a right to make it known.
For some
reason, we gain this sense of entitlement. We think that, because we have been
hurt, we reserve the right to not
forgive. Or we think that we reserve the right to have the upper hand.
“I know you
said you’re sorry, but I don’t have to forgive you because I was genuinely hurt
in it all and I don’t trust you or anything you say anymore, including when you
apologize.”
The idea of forgiveness sounds appealing to
us – but the reality of it sounds like a lot of hard work and the loss of our
much-treasured entitlement.
We don’t get
it at all. Our self-centeredness has completely blinded us.
We don’t get
that we have a Creator. A perfect, just, merciful, loving,
Creator.
We don’t get
that this Creator…created us. He
knows everything about us. He knows
every single sin. Every single lie. Every single cheat. Every single impure
thought. Every single ounce of hatred or bitterness that we harbor.
Not only
does He know our past sins. He knows
our present and future sins as well.
But because
He is our creator and we are His
children – He has given us the most precious thing of all – His Son. And with
that, His grace and forgiveness.
I know I
have talked about this so many times before…but it is TOO GREAT to NOT talk
about over and over and over and over and over again! I wish this truth were
the ONLY thing I talked about. I wish I never lost sight of or forgot it.
God is
perfect. He will never maliciously hurt us. Yet, we wake up every morning
already drowning in the sins of our day. Already betraying Him. Whether
intentional or not – we constantly betray Him.
Yet He
forgives.
His grace is disturbing.
And it
should utterly wreck us.
So, we think people hurt us and betray us –
and of course – to an extent, they do…but what are another’s sins towards us
when we compare it to our sins towards such a perfect and holy God?
Nothing.
I don’t care
what hurt someone has cause us. When we see ourselves as God see’s us – our
response is to run and hide out of shame and embarrassment.
And if we
allow bitterness and resentment to overcome us, keeping us from forgiving and
extending grace towards others, then we should really run and hide out of shame
and embarrassment.
I can’t help
but think of Matthew 18 when Christ talks about the parable of the unmerciful
servant…
Then
Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother
or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus
answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Therefore,
the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his
servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of
gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master
ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to
repay the debt.
At
this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged,
‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him,
cancelled the debt and let him go.
But
when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a
hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you
owe me!’ he demanded.
His
fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I
will pay it back.’
But
he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he
could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were
outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
Then
the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I cancelled
all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy
on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him
over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
This
is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your
brother or sister from your heart.
You’ve heard
the saying: “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.”
We can’t fool God.
And once we
understand this reality…I don’t think it’s possible to have bitterness.
I don’t
think it’s possible to not forgive
someone.
I’m not
saying that when do forgive someone that we should automatically trust them
again – heck no!
“God wants
us to reconcile but not go back.”
I would
never agree with someone going back to a person/relationship that has hurt them
(all depending on the type of relationship and the extent of the wrong-doing of
course – there definitely can be plenty of exceptions)
What I am
saying is that life – is life. It can be really rough sometimes and people can
be cruel. But no matter what happens – we are not meant to live in our
bitterness and hatred. We are meant to blossom and grow and live.
We can’t be
the person that God has called us to be if we are ruled by hurt. We need to ask
God to help us to truly forgive
others the way that He has forgiven us.
No dwelling
over past situations – no harboring hints of anger – no bringing it up again.
We need to forgive.
We need to
have the forgiveness and grace that causes the world to think there is
something wrong with us because we so freely extend it.
God’s grace
is disturbing and our grace should be disturbing too.
This song
has been a favorite of mine lately…
Heaven knows I’m a broken man
These tired bones they can barely stand
The ways of the world oh I lay in my grave
To the darkest of nights when You call my name
Your love Your love oh it set me free
Oh no guilt no shame got a hold on me
Your love Your love well it opened my eyes
I was a dead man walking till You gave me life
Grace it comes with a price I’m told
Took the light of the world just to save my soul
But in the valley of the shadow of the cross you’ll find
Oh no brokenness when I come alive
Your love broke the chain
And I’m free from the guilt and shame
Love opened my eyes
Oh Your love Your love it set me free
Oh no guilt no shame got a hold on me
Your love Your love well it opened my eyes
I was a dead man walking till Lord
I was a dead man walking till Lord
I was a dead man walking till Lord
You gave me life
“Dead
Man Walking”
- John
Tibbs
