If I could talk to you right now, I would probably vent
to you.
I would complain about how sick I have been for the past
three weeks and how crazy and busy work was. I would talk about how I went in
early and stayed late every day last week and I would probably tell you about
how emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted I have been.
You would listen intently and most likely respond with
something like, “I’m sorry (insert random, endearing nickname here), I wish
there was something I could do to make it better” but if I were talking to you
– that would be the answer. Just talking to you and you just listening and
being there for me would make it better already.
I don’t even know why – but lately, it has been really
difficult without you. I think it’s because you always seemed to get me in a
way that no one else did.
As I lay here with all of these thoughts and ideas
running through my head – you’re the one I want to talk to about them.
I guess it’s just crazy to me that you’re the one I’m
missing – over everything and everyone else – it’s you.
Or maybe it’s not that crazy…maybe deep down I always
knew it’d be you…
I just finished reading a book that talked about many
different things…and one thing that really stood out to me was when it talked
about why we miss the people we miss. I thought about the person in my life (or
not in my life) who would be considered the obvious
one I would miss. I tried to think of reasons why I “should” miss that
person…but I could think of none that pertained to that person personally. I could only think of
shallow – detached reasons of why I should or could potentially miss them…maybe
I could say I miss them because I am feeling lonely or because I miss having someone to talk to or to hang out
with…but none of those reasons are personal about that person…like “I miss them
because they make me laugh” or “I miss them because they always knew the right
thing to say” or “I miss them because I truly cared about them” – no…none of
those “personal” things are appropriate when I think of them.
But you – you’re probably one of the only people I have
ever missed for purely personal reasons.
Meaning…I miss you…for you. Not because I am lonely or
miss having someone to talk to or vent to – I just truly miss you…
It’s crazy how one person can affect us so much…it’s
crazy that the presence of them feels so natural and comfortable to us that we
don’t realize how much their absence will shake us.
It makes me think of that line from “It’s a Wonderful
Life”…
“Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives.
When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”
Strange…
Strange indeed…
