I have no idea where this is going to go...
First off – I think it should be noted that
when I originally sat down to write this post, it was mostly fueled by anger
and aggression because of recent happenings…but since I have had a little time to cool down since then…now I am writing this post more from concern and
sadness…there is still a little irritation in there as well, yes…but…maybe more
sadness…okay...still a lot of irritation too...
All right.
I usually am good about taking credit for my
own feelings and actions. When something is bothering me or when I am in a bad
mood about something – I try to look at it logically and say that something
must be wrong with my heart when it
comes to the matter.
But I take absolutely NO credit for this.
In fact – I would LOVE to change it about
myself…but I just can’t. It has been hardwired into me since I was a little
girl – by one person in particular.
One person who has messed things up for me SO
BAD that I am afraid I am ruined for life.
It is ALL
the fault of my Father.
If my Dads goal in life was to prepare me in
some way for the world – He did an incredible job – but if his mission was to
prepare me for the “men” in the world – he failed horribly. Crash and burn.
My Dad is incredible. He is an extremely hard worker. He is honest
and genuine. He always speaks his mind. He stands up for what
is right. He fears God more than any man. He is a protector and a provider. He gives tough
love when necessary and isn’t afraid to call me out when I am being an
idiot. He is A MAN. A REAL MAN.
A man who has set me up for miserable
failure.
His great example has lead me to the
misconception that all guys are men. When
they most certainly are not.
He has lead me to have the expectation that
all guys will pitch in and help when they see a girl trying to do something.
When they certainly do not.
What is wrong with guys these days??
I mean – don’t get me wrong…I know us girls
have plenty of issues of our own too…but guys…seriously…I see PLENTY of
boys…but where are all the MEN??
I think Bonnie Tyler really hit the
mark…Where HAVE all the good men gone?? I can almost feel her frustration when
she is singing the song…I am sure that house burning down in the video was
really the Home Depot she was just standing in, in the middle of a SEA OF MALES
just waiting for some guy to stand up and be A MAN and offer to help her carry
all her crap but all those “men” are too busy being little…pansies…complaining
about how they can’t lift that or move that because of some baby injury they’ve
had…but really – they’re just too lazy. So she probably just got so frustrated
and just burned the place down! WHY NOT?? What good is a store full of tools
and supplies for men when there are literally NO MEN around to use them??
But seriously! As a woman, yeah I want to be
strong and confident and be able to survive on my own and know how to chop
firewood and start fires! My daddy raised me right! But that does not mean that
I desire a HERO ANY LESS!
I still desire a man who will PURSUE ME and FIGHT FOR ME and PROTECT ME.
A man who KNOWS what he WANTS and
isn’t afraid of saying what’s on his mind. He is STRONG and BOLD and
isn’t afraid to tell me if I’m being an idiot. He’s not afraid to say how he
feels and he’s not afraid to hear how I feel. A man who will love me at my
worst and take care of me when I’m sick. A man who stands up for what is right and who is not easily influenced or swayed. A man…just…a man.
But…back to Bonnie Tyler…the best and most
romantic, sweetest version of Holding Out for a Hero is by Ella Mae Bowen. It
is seriously one of my favorite songs. I know I relate so many things to
songs…but music is so romantic and honest and it’s just my love language…I
can’t help it. I’m a sucker for a good song.
Anywho…
Sorry if I’m being too brutally honest here…
But seriously…it is the biggest turn off IN
THE WORLD! When I, a girl, am more MANLY than a guy. Like when it comes to
manual labor…or just physical activity/work in general…like picking up things
or moving things or pitching in to help people when I CLEARLY see that they
need help! When I see a male just standing there when something CLEARLY needs
to be done…I literally cannot look at them the same. ESPECIALLY if he is just
standing there watching a woman do something that he SHOULD/COULD be doing…my
WHOLE view of them is ruined – and don’t even bother trying to change my mind
on it. There’s no hope.
I get that some people DO have genuine
problems with real disabilities/limitations…but when I KNOW that they are not
doing something just because they are lazy…oh my gosh. Like it literally just
sickens me.
This is what I blame my dad for. Because he
is the hardest working man I have ever known. So how could I ever be with/marry
someone who is lazy or who doesn’t know how to do certain things or fix
things…or if he doesn’t…wont try to learn how to do things!
Or a man who doesn’t know what he wants or knows
what he wants but doesn’t pursue it…so you always have to guess what is going
on…so annoying. JUST BE A MAN!!!
I pity the guy who tries to live up to my
father…the poor soul…
My dad tells me that I will find someone as
good as him some day…but when I think about it – I truly don’t know if I ever
could.
I mean I KNOW that if God has a man for me,
then I will find an incredible guy some day…but over and over again people tell
me (men and women mind you) how they would hate to be a single girl these days
because there are no good men left in the world…I’m not even joking – AT LEAST
10 people have said that to me. To which I just respond: “Sure there are…I just
haven’t found him yet…”
But really…ARE THERE? It worries me at times
how good of a father my dad is…it really has given me, what seems like, such
high expectations for MEN.
But the crazy thing is – I really don’t feel
like I have high expectations…the only reason it seems like they are high is
because I have never met a guy who has met them…not because they are so
high…but because I have never met A MAN!
It’s just so sad – just be a man!
I don’t get how some women can be with some
guys…like lazy guys who don’t do anything…I really don’t get it.
And women – we aren’t doing them ANY sort of
favor when we do their work for them! All we are doing is enabling them the be lazy…
I get that this is a strange, unbalanced
world we live in nowadays. Women want to be independent and do things on their
own and they want to be strong one moment and then completely compromise
themselves for a guy the next moment…
I do think that some women are just as
screwed up and mislead as some men…
So just stop! MEN STOP being lazy and women
STOP being easy!
What happened to hard working men and women
who demanded respect and romance?
There are some things I just don’t think I
will ever get…
And Oh…if I could only say the things I were
really thinking……….
