Wow...it definitely has been awhile.
Do people even still use Blogger? Haha…I’m really not sure. But I am sure that I still love this ‘ol blog – and tackling the idea of creating a new one in a new space just seems silly.
Life is silly enough, isn’t it?
The way things change all around us and yet continue to trek on and on.
I’ve started writing many entries over these past few years because of my love of writing and my urges to spit out whatever is going on in my mind…but because of my scatterbrainness – I never seemed to finish one enough to post it. Or at least, in those moments where I just HAD to get something on paper because I was so passionate about it – once I got out what I wanted to say, that was it. It was as far as I needed to take it, I guess.
I don’t even know if I really have much to say right at this very moment. I guess I just wanted to say; “Hey, I’m still here! Don’t forget about me!!” That’s something I’ve wanted to say quite a few times these past few years – in quite a few different situations – to quite a few different audiences…
But, like I mentioned before, and something that I’m trying to come to terms with, life and time just continue to trek on and on…and the entities that make up all of it, those continue to trek on as well.
I will have more time in the next month to actually try to be profound with my words.
But why do I feel that way? Why do I feel like, if I am going to come on here, my OWN BLOG, with people who clearly (somewhat at least) value what I have to say, why do I feel like I need to be or say anything other than what I just plainly have to be or say. Why do I feel the need to write a life-changing novel as my “comeback” entry? Why do I feel the urge to impress an audience that has been gracious enough to stick with me this long? Or, an audience who is viewing this blog for the first time, yet felt compelled to even click on or type in my blog address?
That’s something I have been working on a great deal. Trying not to care about what other people think of me. Especially the people that I really don’t think much of. I have definitely gotten so much better at it. But you know HOW I have gotten so much better at it? Through the words and encouragement of those who TRULY and GENUINELY know and love me. Those people have utterly and radically changed my view on relationships. The people who support and encourage me in my new endeavors, especially those whom I really didn’t expect or assume they would be so supportive. It’s been amazing. But, that is enough love and passion to be entirely its own post.
SO MUCH has changed and happened in these past few years, I feel like I need to re-introduce myself!! Haha or at least give you the highlights…so I guess I will start there…and in the spirit of keeping with my ever-desired theme of my blog, I will be as genuine as possible. Because I feel like that’s what we need in life: A little more realness. How can I expect anyone to truly love and care for me if they don’t truly know me?
So here goes…
· I got married last year!!! That was and is incredible.
· Even though married life is really really great now – last year it was really really rough. I know, I know; “the first year of marriage is the hardest” – I don’t mean “First-year married life” tough. I mean serious, at times, life-threatening, truly tough rough. It was tough. But God is so so good. I don’t get it. I’m not sure I ever will. God is just so amazingly good. No matter how bad of a “sinner” you think you are, or what you have done – God still saves you. He can make drastic and immediate changes if you just hand it over to Him. But, I suppose that could be a post of its own as well
· We are in the process of building a house! Super exciting – though I will admit – I am that person who tried not to get tooexcited about things until they are 100% reality, because you just never know what could happen…yah know?
· In January we went to a Fertility Specialist and found out that I was born with only half my uterus in-tact. The other half is there, it just isn’t functional. So this next Thursday (the 13th) I am having surgery to remove that half, as it only causes me immense pain and serve no other purpose. The surgery is tricky in that we really don’t know how it will go…so here’s the mini-highlight on that:
· Possible Scenario #1: The surgeon goes in laparoscopically and is able to remove the bad half-uterus perfectly fine without any complications or extensive surgery
· Possible Scenario #2: The uterus is removed fine but there is too much bleeding so the surgeon has to “open” me up just to get a better handle on the stitches
· Possible Scenario #3: The uterus is removed but other organs are damaged in the process so those organs have to be removed as well (ovaries, tubes, or even a full hysterectomy may be necessary)
· Possible Scenario #4: The surgeon goes in and does not feel comfortable touching anything because it looks too risky and she just comes right back out, doing nothing at all
So that is the deal with that and I am just over here trying to trust God with it all completely. My prayers have gone from hoping things go exactly as planned and no large incision has to be made and I’ll heal fine and in 6 months we can start fertility treatments…to whatever happens God, even if it’s “worst-case-scenario” I just want to continue to believe that God is good and He is not a liar, but He keeps His promises to always do what is best for us.
· If everything does go fine – fertility treatments will be a whole other story. Two different doctors now have told us that since I only have 1-half of a “good” uterus – the chances for multiple miscarriages is very high. We have been told that half of a uterus is too small to house/grow a baby so the general consensus has been that one pregnancy would stretch the uterus somewhat, but then that baby would most likely not survive. The second pregnancy would stretch the uterus a bit more, but then, again we may lose that baby. Hopefully by the third pregnancy the uterus would be stretched enough to carry close enough to full-term so that that baby would survive. This was a lot of information to take in and process. I’ll admit I’ve been to some dark places these past few months upon receiving this news. But you know what – God IS GOOD. This news didn’t surprise Him. He wasn’t caught off guard and He’s not worried about what is going to happen. Even now as I write this it just brings so much to mind – so much about His grace and goodness. SO MUCH about everything He has been teaching me in these past few months. This is definitely a matter worthy of it’s own post as well…
So, continuing on…
· My husband got into wood-working and man he is so awesome at it!!! We are hoping to eventually turn it into a business for him…but that will come in time…preferably when we are in a house and he has a much larger work area!
· I started working with a company which sells “natural” eco-friendly cleaning “products,” called Norwex! It is incredible. And I can’t even say how excited I am about it. It has opened so many doors for me and it is just crazy how God is working it all out. Just how He is working out our lives. This little thing that started out as me just wanting to make some extra cash (not to mention my husband and I need write-offs for taxes) turned into something I truly gained a passion for and lead me into other things I never knew I had a passion for, like product photography! It is just crazy how much God is working through all of this to give me these new joys in life! I suppose that could be a post of its own as well haha!
So…I guess that is it for now…
I am just so thankful. God has brought so many people into my life through so many unexpected ways these past few months and I truly just feel so blessed. Life has definitely not been a walk in the park this past year…but there have been so many incredible lessons in it all. I have grown so much…I still have so much growing to do…but I am so excited for everything and I am excited to share it all with you…I am excited to start writing again…even if they are little tiny posts about random things…or really long posts about intense things…I have missed it. I have missed you.
So…hopefully I’ll be back soon!
Until then, thank you for sticking with me.
