14 & 15

Fourteen and Fifteen kind of go hand-in-hand…

Gods Word and The Ability To Learn And Grow.

I think it is ridiculous the amount of times that I take having a bible for granted.

I mean come on…this is THE WORD OF GOD!!!

How many times do I sit there while I am praying and just say: “If I could only hear Your voice…”

DUH! DUMMY!!! That is what the Bible is for.

Yeah…it’s not his literal voice…but it is still His plan for my life woven in a beautiful love letter…

An instruction manual.

A manual on how to live a Christ-like life.

You know when you get a new board game or a project and it comes with instructions on how to play it or assemble it? And there are always those people who just love to jump on in and figure it out themselves? And then there are those other people who have to get out the manual and read every instruction word for word so they know exactly how to play…because heaven forbid the game is not played EXACTLY how it is meant to be???

I’m going to be honest with you guys…I am totally that person. The annoying “play by the rule book WORD for WORD” kind of person…and yes…I will continue to refer to the manual throughout the game just to be certain that if I am losing…I am losing fairly…haha because chances are I am losing and I will fight everyone on it if I don’t have the exact rules there to refer to…so in other words…everyone is just better off not playing games with me…

But getting back on track…this is a good thing right? That I consider the instructions to be such a crucial part in the actual process…

So why do I seem to forget so often to refer to the Bible when I need to know how to live?

I just think it is incredible how much information God has given us in the bible. And how many stories there are for us to turn to and learn from…

And they aren’t just stories about random people…they are stories about our ancestors! Forget ancestry.com…this is our incredibly detailed family tree people! Some of it is somewhat embarrassing for us to claim as relative I’m sure…but other stuff…is pretty dang incredible.

It is crazy to me how many people I talk to that want to “live right” and do the “right thing” and be better…and yet…they seem to try to rely solely on their own personal ability to do so…or they read inspirational books and take the words of a mentor as foundational truth…yet they don’t bother to crack open the Ultimate Truth every once and awhile.

How can I grow and live right and gain knowledge if I don’t actually KNOW how to do these things?

How can I be Christ-like if I don’t even know what Christ is like?

How can I love my neighbor and myself if I don’t even know what love IS or HOW to do it?

How can I grow spiritually if I don’t know what being “spiritual” entails and looks like?

I can’t!

But thankfully…God has made it possible for me to do all of this…I just have to read His instructions…

We haven’t been left stranded and alone to fend for ourselves!

He has given us the knowledge we need and the ability to learn and to grow.

Eleven - Thirteen

Eleven:

Y.O.U.

My readers.

Without you…my blogging would be all for not! Whatever that means…

But seriously.

You have no idea how much it means to me that you come here for a visit every day and actually take the time to read my ramblings…

My blog would not be what it is without you!

No matter how many times I say that my blogging is more for myself and a way for me to vent and heal and just plain let out whatever is on my mind…I still am not certain I would continue doing it if I did not have you on the other end actually caring about what I have to say!

You are a beautiful piece to my story and I am extremely thankful you are here!

So thank you.

Twelve:

Writing.

I am so thankful to have the ability to write.

Whether it be posting blogs, writing in my journal, jotting down random quotes and songs…I am thankful for it all.

Writing is such an incredible gift when it comes to the process of healing and just working through things.

It’s funny because most of the time when I sit down to start writing something in my journal…I wont even really know where to begin…but as soon as my pen touches the paper…it just all kind of starts to flow out…like with each though that I write down, another one that I had not realized before is being unlocked…

I have learned so much about myself by writing out my struggles and hurts and accomplishments…

Some of my favorite times, just involve me, a pen, my journal, and of course coffee…and it’s just me sitting there…cleansing myself of whatever is going on and discovering where I could go from there…

I love it.

Which brings me to number 13…

COFFEE!

I know.

I know.

I know…

It sounds so petty…

I just sound like one of those mindless-obsessive coffee addicts…and I admit…at times I really can be.

But there is just something about going out for coffee with a friend…

Or just going to Starbucks to get some coffee and study…

Probably 90% of my favorite things involve coffee.

Okay I am not sure if that is true.

But still…I cannot really help that I just love coffee.

There are two ways to my heart…Jesus…and coffee…

Alright maybe a few more…but Jesus ALWAYS first…and coffee…

Haha…

Ocho. Neun. Tio.

Ocho.

Laughter.

Today, I laughed the harder than I have laughed in a very long time…which is pretty dang hard because I laugh pretty hard………all of the time…………at everything.

It was at a very inappropriate time though…because it was during church…well…pretty much the whole morning at church…

I know…it was kind of rude…and I apologize to anyone who was sitting around me and became distracted by me…especially the lady to the far left of me at the end of the row…yes…I was aware of and ignoring your disapproving glare burning holes through me…

But this is me…and I like to have fun…and some times…yeah, I am kind of immature about it and I do apologize for that…

If I was that annoying girl who was ALWAYS distracting in church and cleaning out my purse and talking to those around me and texting all the time…then that would be completely different…

But there was a time in my life when I was not aloud to EVER laugh or have fun…and I was completely restricted from being anything remotely close to a “happy” person.

So you know what…when I feel like laughing – I am going to laugh!

I will try to be more considerate about it at times where it’s not exactly appropriate…

But today…it was just really hard to control…and it felt really good...

So today…and basically every day…I am thankful for laughter!

Neun. (9)

God-given discernment.

If you ask God to reveal your heart to you and make you aware of what you need to change and work on and where you need to grow…He will do it.

I’ve been praying a little prayer…and God has been answering it in a big way.

God has been showing me so many different things lately that I need to work on…

And it has been difficult…but really amazing.

For instance…

There are some people that just require a little more patience than others…and God has helped me so much with my heart towards them and how I go about communicating with them…

I think that when we have respect for God…then our respect for everything else just falls into place…like respect for ourselves and others.

We are all God’s children and He loves each and every one of us THE SAME.

And lately He has really been convicting me of that and how I go about handling some people…and how when I am impatient towards people and kind of rude...it's not like I am being rude to just SOMEONE...I am being rude to one of HIS children! And I definitely DO NOT want the wrath of a protective Father hanging over my head...

Like with people who REALLY annoy me…

If I’m being honest…I’m pretty dang annoying myself and I’m almost positive that when I start to pray...all of heaven just let’s out a tiring; “What now?!”

haha okay maybe not...but you know what I mean.

So I am thankful for discernment and God revealing to me what I need to work on…I guess I am pretty thankful for patience as well…there yah go! A little two-in-one action for yah!

Tio. (ten)

Kisses from God.

You know – those little unexpected things that happen through out the day that you just KNOW it is God letting you know that He is thinking about you and He loves you…

I love those moments.

I mean OF COURSE He is ALWAYS thinking about us and He loves us more than we will ever know…but I think that it is extremely easy to forget these two things…or at least become distracted to where we are not being consciously aware of them…

So I am SO thankful for when God sends a little surprise my way and reminds me that He loves me so much.

Six and 7

Six.

I am thankful for a place to call home.

I grew up in this little small town…

When I was little…I was too young to have an opinion on whether or not I liked it here…and when I graduated high school I was ready to move on and never look back…

Yet even while I was in Phoenix – a piece of my heart was always here…

And being back here this past year has been incredible.

I never would have thought I would have moved back here…but now looking at everything that has happened…I wouldn’t have changed me come back here for anything in the world!

And now as I prepare myself for the possibility of moving away again…it’s different than before…

I’m older…and my move would be because of my career…and not necessarily something as time limited as college…

It’s bitter sweet thinking about leaving this little town again…and thinking about the incredible relationships and “family” I have made this past year and a half.

I know God has a plan for me, and I trust that He always has what is best in-store for me. And whether I remain here for the rest of my life, or make 20 more moves in my lifetime…He will always go before me and life will always be an adventure.

But Tehachapi will always be my home.

7:

I am thankful for the junior high and high school students that I work with at church.

They are all SO much fun.

It is crazy how I am there because I want to give to them…and yet they give me SO much, without even knowing it.

To see younger kids being so in love with and thirsty for God is incredible.

There are so many times that I look at them and just think: “Man I wish I was as cool as them when I was younger!” haha…but it’s so true.

It is so cool to see each of them and just watch them grow and be able to get to know their different personalities.

Maybe it is the psychologist in me that just enjoys “observing” them haha…but they are all so smart! And I seriously learn so much from them!

Even those days when I am in a grumpy mood and don’t really feel like my heart is in it…when I leave youth group I just realize how thankful I am for the opportunity to be able to be with these kids and just pour into them and be poured into by them in return.

I know that working with the youth is where my heart is and I am so excited to be where God has me now and see what He has in store for me for the future!