Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Simple as this...


Yesterday my best friend and I were talking about how we’re both at such a strange place in our lives…

It’s almost as if the world is at the tip of our fingers…

Nothing is holding us back and nothing is holding us down…

We could go almost anywhere and do almost anything we want…

We have so many choices in life…

Stay where we are? Move somewhere else? Go to this school? Go to that school? Apply for that job? Date that boy? And so on and so forth…

Thank the Lord I have so much going on right now…because if I didn’t, I know I would just be sitting here in constant worry over what the heck I should be doing with my life!

And for those times that I do start to think too much on it and I do start to panic…I can just hear God calm my fears: “Relax! I got this! And no…I don’t need your help!”

Of course, I can’t stay still for the rest of my life, and there are decisions that I do need to make! But with God guiding my days...I can never go wrong.

All I have to do is just pray that God closes windows and opens doors!

And if I do feel like things are not clear…then I just have to wait…

I have to wait as long as it takes for God to move me.

I think a lot of times when we pray and don’t really “hear” anything from God, we consider those as “unanswered prayers” but in reality, God hears and answers ALL of our prayers… sometimes just not exactly in the way we want, or in a way that we are looking for…and we can REST in the truth that He ALWAYS provides the best answer.

We just have to WAIT for HIM.

1 Corinthians 15:33 “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.”

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Summer lovin'...


I have been PATIENTLY awaiting the month of June for what seems like forever…but it has actually only been about a month!

And finally…starting next Saturday…all the fun begins!

I have so many exciting things happening in June…

Next weekend, one of my best friends from Phoenix is coming here and he and I are going to six flags…

Then the following week, two of my other best friends from Phoenix are coming here to visit for a few days…

Then the next week I have THE ALMOST concert!!!!

Then just a couple of days after that, I am going to Alaska to visit my best friend!!! And while I am gone, one of my best friends from Phoenix is moving to L.A.!!!

And last, but certainly not least, I have a baby shower to attend at the end of the month for one of my dear friends!

All in the month of June!

But then the month after is VBS at my church and I CANNOT wait to be reunited with the sweet little faces from last year (I seriously have been counting down the month since January!) Then, my birthday…which means wine tasting and beach time with some amazing girls!

Then the P4CM show in LA with another incredible friend!

Summer is such an amazing time of year…it just has a completely different feel to it than all of the other seasons.

It’s a season of long days and eventful nights, bonfires and barbecues, picnics and kayaking, farmer’s markets and star gazing, early morning runs and late afternoon hikes!

Maybe it’s the nostalgia kicking in that takes me back to the teenage days of laying by the pool, golfing with friends, and listening to Jessica Simpson and LFO…

It makes me think of going boating with my family and sitting in the hot truck at the end of the day, with my disgusting lake hair and freshly sun-kissed (or sun-burnt) skin…

It is truly crazy how fast time goes by and how many things can happen in what seems like, the shortest amount of time.

June 1st will mark my one year of being back here in California…

And while I am EXTREMELY thankful that God brought me back here…it has been a somewhat difficult year…

But I would not change one thing about it. Not. One. Thing.

I have learned so much and I have grown so much…I have continued to realize more and more the person that God is calling me to be and what I want out of life…

This past month has been exceptionally difficult, just because it has been one of those times in my life where I knew exciting things were ahead of me, but they were just out of my reach…and I wanted them to be here NOW.

I think so many times in life, we take our “free time” for granted…because when we are going through things…all we want to do is just fill our time with things that will keep us busy…and I guess I have been doing an alright job at that…but I have also had days where I just had nothing planned and every part of me ached to get out of the house…out of this town!

I get restless…a lot. I had a blog quite a while ago (while I was still in Phoenix) on how all I wanted to do one day, was just get away for a while. Just get in my car and drive somewhere…but then I started reading my bible, and God instantly calmed my nerves and made me realize that the only place He really wanted me to be, was right where I was.

I remember how much that comforted me and how I just laid there on the balcony of my little Phoenix apartment, and God just allowed me to RELAX.

Just like there are several different seasons in a year…there are also many different seasons in our personal lives…some…more enjoyable than others…

A few months ago I was talking to one of my best friends. This is a girl who I have known since Jr. High, and no matter how long we go without talking, we always “re-join” just where we left off! She is such an encouragement to me. Constantly.

We were both talking about how we were restless with where our lives were at at that moment, and how we just wanted something new and different and we were ready for whatever was going to “come next” in life. Just when I thought we were on the same track, she brought some truth to the conversation: “We just need to be thankful for where we are at right now. Because you never know, a year from now, we may be wishing we were back where we are today.”

I remember my initial thoughts went something like: “Uh…no…this is such a stagnant time in my life…and I’m ready for adventure!”

But the more I mull it over…the more I see just how wrong my heart was at that time…

Just like when I was in Phoenix and all I wanted to do was just “get away”…and just like earlier this month how all I wanted was for the events of June to get here…God had me…and HE HAS ME…Right where I am supposed to be.

A slight detour I have taken, perhaps…but nevertheless, I am here. Right where I am supposed to be.

I think God gives us the “spare time” so that we are able to just use it to grow and seek and rely on Him and just get used to being “alone.” We are called to be content with where we are at at all times. And I am so thankful that God is teaching me this lesson…

And I think one of the things I am learning most of all…is to not put a question mark where God has put a period…

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Love, again...and again...


I have been thinking about “love” a lot. I know I know…about 99.9% of my posts are on the subject…but…I happen to feel that it a pretty important matter! And I will try not to repeat anything that I have said before…I will TRY.

Not just romantic love, but just love in general. Whether it be how much I am going to love my future husband, or how much I love my friends and family, or just “love” in the sense of having an attitude of LOVE and treating everyone with kindness.

Last Sunday, in church, was a pretty emotional time for me.

Lately, I have really been struggling with my heart, and the kind of person that I really am. I have been praying and praying that God would reveal to me what it is that has had me so “stuck” I guess you could say. I knew there was something that just was not letting me be at peace with myself. Until something happened, and I just instantly realized just how wicked my heart truly is.

Jeremiah 17:9,“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

Mark 7:21, “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts…”

I want to believe that I am the best I can be. But unfortunately…I know I am not. I am an extremely disgusting and wicked person…or at least the “human nature” in me is.

I know basically everyone knows 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

There have been a few times in my life that I thought I was “in love”…but looking back…I am not really sure that that has been true. In fact…if I compare basically every relationship that I have had (romantic and non) to 1 Corinthians…then unfortunately I am tempted to say that I have never loved anyone. Ever.

Of course, that is a pretty drastic way of looking at things…but aren’t we supposed to compare ourselves to Christ’s Word?

Don’t get me wrong, I KNOW that I love my friends and family dearly! I am just simply making the point that I do not always show it…

I definitely know that I am NOT always patient and kind. And at times, I am both envious and boastful, which leads to me being arrogant and rude. And I am sure I have said before how much of a control freak I am, and how I have to work extremely hard at not insisting that everything is my way. And when things do not go my way, I often get irritable and resentful…

And so on and so forth…

But the person I just described…that is not who I am meant to be in Christ. In Christ I am called to just love people. It’s as simple as that. Just LOVE.

First and second Peter are full of Peter instructing his readers to love one another with “brotherly love.”

Simple…?

Sure of course there are times when it is extremely difficult to love someone, like when that person has hurt you and everything inside of you just wants to lash out at them and hurt them in return…

Of course…afterwards…even though I may feel that my hurtful words were appropriate…I still feel absolutely awful. Because no one deserves that. No matter how much they have hurt me.

I have been realizing more and more lately that those times when you want to show love to someone the least, those are probably the most CRUCIAL times that you should show them love. You can’t grow if you are allowing yourself to be complacent with who you are and how you feel…

I am constantly having to remind myself that my war is not against other people. If there is something that I am struggling with, concerning another person, it is more times than not because of something that is inside of me. Sure, someone can say something that will truly hurt me…but in the end…how much am I letting it affect me?

Am I replaying the words over and over again in my mind day in and day out? Am I constantly mulling over the way it made me feel, causing myself to become more and more hurt and bitter? Then, am I justifying that my bitterness is completely called for because my judgment has been corrupted by my pain? Or am I just placing my hope in Christ, trusting that He allows all things to happen for a reason and He DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES, and He most certainly KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING?

It DOES NOT MATTER where the other person’s heart is at, or how much they are hurting me (or you)…because most of the time they are only doing hurtful things because they themselves are hurting…and I think once we understand that, it will be a lot easier for us to be able to love them, despite their actions.


Besides, God calls us, as Christians, to have community and peace with one another.

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” – Colossians 3:12-14

So this is my challenge to you, as well as to myself: just LOVE people.

When someone has done something to hurt you…don’t retaliate with more hurtful things…

When you see someone hurting…don’t ignore them and look the other way…

When you are being asked to do something you really don’t want to do…don’t blow that person off…

When you know there is something that you could do for someone…don’t try to push what you know is right out of your mind…

When things aren’t exactly going your way…don’t become bitter or resentful…

JUST LOVE.

Simple as that.

And I hope and pray, that one day, before Christ comes, or I die and go to heaven (which ever comes first), I will be able to live “in perfect harmony” with every Christian that I know. Whether I have hurt them or been hurt by them. Whether I have been bitter or resentful towards them. I know that Christ heals all things in time. And I just want to LOVE.