Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Pray without ceasing...


What is prayer to me?

Prayer is communication. It is relationship. It is a sincere stream of genuine thought flowing from the deepest parts of me.

It is pure.

It is raw.

It is real.

Prayer, for me, usually begins as something deliberate…I go into it thinking I know how I feel and what I want to say…but often times it ends up turning into candid words about subconscious concerns that have been hidden so deep that I didn’t even know they were there…until they are involuntarily unlocked by my rambling lips.

Search me oh God…know my heart…

He knows and understands things about me that I could never even conspire.

There is no point in trying to hide things from Him.

It is foolish to try to mask how I really feel…or to try to “beat around the bush” with Him.

Trying to manipulate Him into thinking that I am something that I am not is idiotic.

And thinking I can get away with half prayers is senseless.

“Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely…”




Prayer, to me, is endless.

It is an ongoing conversation with my Father…

The word “Amen” is uncommon to me…because when am I really ever done speaking with Him?

It’s like saying “goodbye” to someone who never leaves…

Not saying that I am “so great” that I am just always in prayer because I am such a devout Christian…but because I am the complete opposite.

I know that it would be foolish of me to think that I could go even a moment without Christ’s guidance.

And yet, there are plenty of times when I still doubt.

How long do I have to wait on You until you deliver?

I am ashamed to say that this is a prayer that came from my mouth just a few nights ago…

Those times where you know that God is always faithful…but still feel like you need to question Him…

Who am I to understand Him?

I am like a sheep…blindly following my Shepard…and yet – there are still those moments where He allows me to see a glimpse into His plan…and those moments are incredible.

I KNOW that God IS FAITHFUL.

I KNOW that He keeps His promises.

And if there is a desire that He has placed in my heart – then He WILL provide.

And even though it is often times difficult…I could not be more thankful that He provides ALL things in HIS timing!

DON’T give up. Don’t lose sight.

Keep your feet grounded in HIS path and He will take you where you need to go and provide everything you need.

When His promises seem distant

And when everyone around you is calling you a fool

Don’t let go.

The process is all a part of His plan.

Tell Him you’re lost.

Tell Him you’re confused.

Tell Him you don’t understand.

But don’t. let. go.

Because He hasn’t forgotten about you. And He’ll never let you go.

Pray without ceasing.

Pick up your cross.

Daily.

And pray without ceasing.

Be in constant communion with Him.

And be genuine.

And raw.

And real.

Scream. Cry. Pitch a fit!

Or allow the hurt to become so vivid that no words can even be uttered from your lips and no movement can be achieved.

But be real.

Whatever you do – be real.

Allow God to HEAR your heart from your own words.

He already discerns every part of it – but love Him enough to allow Him to HEAR it from YOU.

Make the conscious decision to SPEAK to Him – to deliberately tell Him about your concerns…

Those times where you get the thought in your mind to turn off your tv or put down your phone and just talk to Him…that is HIM CALLING YOU.

Those times you are driving in your car and a thought of prayer comes into your mind…that is HIM placing it there.

And those times when you are laying in bed at night, too tired to move but too restless to fall asleep…that is Him creating an opportunity for you to go to Him.

He is pursuing you.

Always.

So go to Him!

Pray to Him.

And do it without ceasing.

Don’t ever stop.


Wednesday, May 14, 2014

I cannot even begin to comprehend


My great grandmother passed away a few nights ago.

Usually, how I see it is, when someone passes away it is a time to mourn of course because we love and miss them, but mainly, if they were a Christian, it is a time to celebrate their life they spent living for Christ! And the fact that they are now in Heaven – spending eternity with Him!!!

But…what if they are not a Christian?

My great grandmother was an incredible woman. Before she became ill, she was the life of the party! Soooooo HILARIOUS and always cracking jokes! She always had those random dry goofy comments that are so unexpected…and you literally just sit there for the next few minutes thinking “wow…how is that lady so hilarious? She’s so old!!” haha…that was her.

I believe I wrote about her quite awhile ago when I spoke of a relative who told me that I had a light in my eyes once and then several years later told me that light was not shining as brightly after something difficult had happened…

That was my Mama…she really was a beautiful person.

My father witnessed to her constantly whenever he had the chance to be around her, especially in the past few years since it was obvious she was not going to be around much longer.

But as far as we know – she never accepted Christ…

There are some things in life that I do not understand…and I will be the first to admit that predestination is one of those things…

But I don’t know if I don’t understand it because of “free will” and what not…or if it’s because I don’t understand why God would CHOOSE someone like me…over…maybe someone whom I would consider to be a less-sinful person…

Maybe someone who could serve Him much better than I could…

But none of that is really worth much of a thought because He did choose me. So now I have no choice but to listen to Him…because it is the joy that He has placed in every part of me.

One of my high school girls asked me the other day what predestination meant. (funny timing)

I think it is most important to first realize that God doesn’t chooses us because of anything that we have done or will do – but He chose us simply out of His sovereign grace.

In Romans 9 Paul makes it clear that God chose Jacob over Esau, “not because of works but because of Him who calls” (v. 11)

“For though the twins were not yet born and had not done anything good or bad, so that God’s purpose according to His choice would stand, not because of works but because of Him who calls…” (v. 11-12)

Paul reminds us over and over again that our salvation is based on Christ and Christ alone – not because of anything we have done – so that we cannot boast.

And that is how God wants it… “so that God’s purpose according to His choice would stand”…if we chose Him and He had no control over the matter…then how could He claim to be in control of everything?

The New Testament is flooded with scripture about how we are chosen

Ephesians 1:4, “just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him…”

1 Thessalonians 1:4, “knowing, brethren beloved by God, His choice of you…”

2 Thessalonians 2:13, “…God has chosen you from the beginning for salvation…”

So if there are people who are chosen…then there have to be people who are not chosen…right?

But WHY haven’t they been chosen? My first initial thought is that, maybe God knew that they would not choose Him? So He just didn’t choose them?

No…The bible is clear about God not choosing us because of anything we have done or will do. So if God chose us based on the pre-knowledge of us choosing or not choosing Him, then the fact that we are chosen would be based off of us CHOOSING…or – based off of something that we would do…so that’s not right…

(sorry if I lost you…that was confusing)

And if someone was going to choose God it would only be because God allowed and predestined them to choose Him…right?

Okay. So…free will…

I am just going to go ahead and quote someone who is MUCH more knowledgeable than me on the subject…

Wayne Grudem explains it like this…

“Our choices are voluntary because they are what we want to do and what we decide to do, and in that sense they are ‘free.’ This does not mean that our choices are absolutely free, because God can sovereignly work through our desires so that he guarantees that our choices come about as he has ordained; but this can still be understood as a real choice, because God has created us, and he ordains that such a choice is real. In short, we can say that God causes us to choose Christ voluntarily.” Bible Doctrine, pg 289

For anyone who would still dare to say that because God ordains and works through our choices, He is not fully giving us free-will, Grudem argues that: “The mistaken assumption underlying this objection is that a choice must be absolutely free (that is, not in any way caused by God) in order for it to be a genuine human choice. However, if God makes us in a certain way and then tells us that our voluntary choices are real and genuine choices, then we must agree that they are.” (pg 289)

(I feel like I am back in college…)

I think a natural (natural meaning sinful) response to God choosing some people and not others is a cruel act…

It’s okay to admit if this thought crosses your mind…not saying that it is RIGHT…but – being sinners…it is initially natural for us to question God…INITIALLY…but when we continue to grow closer to God – we need to stop. It is not our position or RIGHT to question God and what He does.

But I still believe we should be honest with God and ourselves – no matter how we are feeling, so that He can change us and heal us from that type of thinking.

I would be lying if I said I never question God…and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t ask God why my great grandmother couldn’t be saved…(assuming that she did not accept Christ right before she passed away…)

But ultimately – I KNOW that God IS GOOD. No matter what.

No matter who He does and does not choose.

Not saying I understand it at all…but I don’t need to. I don’t want to. I don’t want a god that I can understand everything about…that wouldn’t be a true God.

Grudem counters my naïve reaction: “We must remember that it would be perfectly fair for God not to save anyone…But if he does save some at all, this is a demonstration of grace that goes far beyond the requirements of fairness and justice.”

“What shall we say then? There is no injustice with God is there? May it NEVER be! For He says to Moses, ‘I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.’ So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, ‘For this very purpose I raised you up, to demonstrate My power in you, and that My name might be proclaimed throughout the whole earth.’ So then He has mercy on whom He desires, and He hardens whom He desires.” (9:14-18)

When I start to think about it too much I start to question. What if someone who God did not chose, decided to turn to Him and accept Him? But…then God would have chosen them to choose Him…

(This is my naïve attempt at trying to argue that anyone can be saved…)

I think mainly for me, it just comes down to pride. Why ME? Why would God choose me?

But it is not really about me at all. It is about God and His power and excellence and what He wants to do. Not about me and my misapprehensions.

“You will say to me then, ‘Why does He still find fault? For who resists His will?’ On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, ‘Why did you make me like this,’ will it? Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use? What if God, although willing to demonstrate His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction? And He did so to make known the riches of His glory upon vessels of mercy, which He prepared beforehand for glory, even us, whom He also called, not from among Jews only, but also from among Gentiles.” – Romans 9:19-24

My high school student brought up the question of evangelism. “Why evangelize if election is true and God has already chosen who He wants? And the others will remain to have hardened hearts?”

Simple: Because us preaching God’s truth is a command:

“Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you…” Matthew 28:19,20

And since God is love…if we have God…then we naturally love others right? So we want everyone to know God and be saved…Living His love is just a natural habit for someone who loves God…it can’t be helped. God just pours His love into us and we are so filled with it that it overflows in us and spills out all around us. It can be seen from a distance and can be felt from close by…

It’s God.

It’s not me and my actions…

It’s God and His grace.

“For if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.” – Romans 14:8


After AND before


There have been quite a few girls that I have come into contact with lately that have all struggled with the same thing…their past.

Thinking about their past brings them pretty intense fear. Fear that if people were to find out some of the things they have done, they would look at them differently and think them to be an awful person…or fear that their revealed past will discredit who they are today.

Usually, this fear brings the desire to run.

Run from everyone they know and run to people who do not know what they have done.

The idea sounds great doesn’t it? Running from all the mistakes you have made and from all of the people who know you have made them. Not only that, but running to somewhere new. A new place where no one knows you or what you have done. A new life – a fresh start. An opportunity to be the person you have always wanted to be – an opportunity to convince everyone that you are perfect.

I would be lying if I said these thoughts have not crossed my mind a time or two…or three or four…

I know I have said it before – I am a runner!

As soon as I see that things are starting to get messy, I grab my personal belongings which are nearest to me and I run.

Or at least I used to…

But lately – some things about my past have scared me and made me feel insecure and inadequate and…frankly…have just stuck their ugly little heads up and haunted me.

What we need to realize and accept right up front is that we cannot change the past. It is what it is.

There is NO going back and there is NO running from it!

But if we love God, then why would we want to run from our past?

Our “present” shows who God has changed us into, and our past can no longer control us. We are still sinners, of course! But we are better. We have Christ and we have accepted and embraced the change that He has given us.

But how would we be able to see and understand the results of this change unless we saw who we were before the change?

Our past shows who we were before Christ. It shows how awful and disgusting we can be. It shows who we are without God and how desperately we need Him.

Our present state really seems to offer no hope to anyone else unless they know how we were before Christ…and not just after Him.

Don’t run from people who know true things about you. Don’t be afraid of what people think of you because of things in your past. Be who you are now – who you are IN CHRIST. And be HONEST! Admit to who you once were…don’t try to hide from it – you never know who your testimony could give hope to.

But PLEASE – don’t try to be someone you’re not. Don’t run away to a place where no one knows you just because you are afraid of what people think about you - Be confident in God! Be confident in the change that He has placed in you!

Remember – God uses the people that we would never expect, to show His love and power through!

In His gracious sovereignty He can use and WILL use anything and everything for HIS glory!!! PRAISE GOD!!!

Romans 8:28 states that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

“in ALL THINGS”…

Not just some things or only the good things…but ALL things!!!

If people saw who you were before Christ’s change and see who you are now and they still don’t believe in God’s power and grace, then that is on them. Don’t be concerned with what people think about you – only be concerned with how God sees you.

I think that sometimes the places that we can be the greatest witnesses of Gods power to people are the very places that we just want to run from…because showing His power, also shows our vulnerability…

Don’t run.

Don’t prohibit God from using you in a way that you never thought possible…

Telling someone about who we once were and them actually seeing it first-hand are two completely different things. Don’t take the gift of witnessing Christ’s power in your life away from someone because you are afraid.