Duly Noted...

I was listening to podcast sermons all day at work today and some of the ones I was listening to fit in exactly with my last blog entry...

I really felt convicted about living for myself.

The moment we give our life to Christ, it is no longer ours.

There are some things that I want that I have just kind of been "avoiding" because I am not quite sure if they are exactly what Christ has for me.

The sermon I was listening to today was so convicting. When I am one with Christ - His desires are then my desires.

I don't have to "avoid" things I want - but instead, if I feel a desire for something, I need to take it to Him and completely give it to Him, and allow Him to do with it as He pleases.

I am not my own.

I die daily.

Not only should my fleshly desires and attitude die with my old self, but my new self should be in harmony with what Christ wants for me.

Trust me - this is SO difficult for me. Because as I am sure I have stated before - when I want something - I am definitely that person that stops at nothing to get it. But Christ has really convicted me of how important it is to wait for HIS timing and to look to Him for guidance with my desires.

If there is something that I want, that Christ does not want for me - then I definitely do not want to pursue that thing because who knows what harm and damage it could bring to my life and my walk with Christ.

A few "stop-me-in-my-tracks" comments/lessons I heard/learned today:

(Keep in mind - I was working while writing these - so looking over them now - some were a bit difficult for me to decode...but I hope they can still bring encouragement!)

* Holiness is living your life in such a way that the whole world can see YOU are God's property.
 Have a HARD attitude about living for the Glory of God - As Christians it's easy to say you don't want to sin "very much" - but a soldier does not go in to war thinking "I don't want to get shot very much" - he says "I don't want to get shot at all". The Bible does not say "do not sin very much". It says do not sin at all.

* How many times do we do things out of the fear of man and not the fear of God. For example - we fear what others think of us - but how many times do we actually fear what God thinks of us?

* We fear because we do not know.

* Preparation will dispel a lot of fear - persecution - suffering - rejection is a normal life when you are living a Christian walk.

* Do not fear because of vindication. God WILL set things right. You will NEVER come up short for obeying the will of God. You will lose NOTHING - but gain absolutely everything.

* Your life is not about you - your career - your money - your spouse - your happiness are all irrelevant - your life is about the glory of God.

* The essence of the Christ Life is the passionate pursuit of holiness - obedience to the Word of God in every area of your life.

* A believer in Jesus Christ who has a hard desire and passion and is striving to be obedient to every aspect of the word of God in every area in his or her life no matter what the cost. - John Politan

* A cross is an instrument of Death - pick up your cross daily - you are going to be put to death every day.

* We die daily. Pick up your cross daily - die daily. NOTHING should be ahead of your walk with Jesus Christ.

* God doesn’t give commands so we can prove how much we love Him - He is giving them to show how much He loves us.

(These notes are inspired by or directly from the somanorth podcasts with Pastor Joe Gordon and John Politan)

I'm sick of this monster monster.

It is days like the ones I have been having lately that make me SO incredibly thankful that HE holds onto ME - and my mood and attitude do not determine His plans for me and my worth in His eyes.

Lately I have been struggling with emotions. So many different ones.

I am SUCH a nosey person – and I’ll just be honest and say that quality hardly ever gets me anywhere good.

God really opened my eyes today in a way that I did not expect. And let’s be honest – if I had known before hand that He was going to do this – I probably would have been tempted to opt out of it…but nevertheless…it was good for me, and thankfully I did not have that choice.

No matter what – living in the light of truth is always best.

The truth may hurt – a lot. But living in it and being aware of it, is the only way to truly grow and to live.

I don’t want to admit this.

But I am jealous.

Another extremely unattractive word.

I know…just thinking about me being jealous, takes me down about 80 notches on the “desirable” scale…

But it’s true.

I am jealous of people who have what I want.

But the weird thing is, this jealousy, completely masked itself. At first – when I was talking to one of my friends about it – I didn’t refer to it as jealousy at all. Because I had no idea that that is what it really was.

How do I talk about this without saying too much…

You know my post on bitterness from earlier this week…well, this has a lot to do with it.

There are people I have been hurt by, and that hurt can easily, at times, turn to bitterness.

Especially when I see these people doing something that I want to be doing.

When I was talking to my friend about this – I was referring to it as just me being “hurt” and “betrayed” and those were somewhat appropriate words to describe it – but those were really only being used as euphemisms to hide what I was really feeling subconsciously.

Sometimes it is difficult because I feel like so much of who I used to be is still with me. So feelings of insecurities and inadequacy can easily surface in my mind.

But those insecurities are not what Christ wants me to listen to.

I have been forgiven.

And Christ has brought extreme change to my life.

He has given me a new heart.

And though others may use my past and future mistakes as a threat against me – God never will.

Because I am a Christian: Each day is a new chance for divisions and struggles. And with these, come pain, heartache, and strife. But also because I am a Christian, with these come healing, growth, and strength.

Christ calls us to take up our cross daily (Luke 9:23). Daily. It is and always will be a daily struggle.

And each day we will have a chance.

A chance to choose what we are going to do.

Are we going to let ourselves be defeated by the heartache and struggles that we go through?

Or are we going to look at our situations and face them head on with Christ as our guide?

While I was venting my feelings of “hurt” and “betrayal” to one of my friends they just point blank said to me: “Michal – it’s not about them. It’s not about what they are doing and what they have. And it’s not about you either.”

The truth is – no matter how much I want it to be – it is not about me. And no matter how much I try to make it about me – it never will be. And thank God for that. Because I am in no way the kind of something that anything should be about.

But God promises me that if I take these struggles to Him – He will set me right.

One of my absolute favorite bands is The Almost. There literally is not one song that they have recorded that I am indifferent about. All of their songs are extremely raw and relatable. They have a song – Awful Direction. It is my favorite song of theirs (it is also in the playlist at the end of my blog):

Life has given me the, me the creeps

I need you to make, to make, to make me weak

I have made my world my own, I've made it my own

And I have never been so alone

I can't stop my brain from moving

In an awful direction Lord

I can't stop my hands from doing

What I don't want to do anymore

I've been wrong

I've been right

But tonight

I just wanna be yours

I'm planning this out

To be all about me

I, I am wrong can you help me?

I can't stop this brain from moving

In an awful direction Lord

I can't stop these hands from doing

What I don't want to do anymore

I've been wrong

I've been right

But tonight

I just wanna be yours

I've got to let go of all of this

'cause I'm dragging me down

I can't stop my brain from moving

In an awful direction Lord

I can't stop my hands from doing

What I don't want to do anymore

I've been wrong

I've been right

But tonight

I just wanna be yours

I just wanna be yours

I just wanna be yours

“Truth is its own spotlight. It chases away the shadows of deceit, dishonesty, and duplicity. And more. In the presence of light, fear releases its grip, anger fizzles, and jealousy recedes.” – Patsy Clairmont

Songs from tonights playlist...

Starting Over - Audio Adrenaline

Undeniable - Mat Kearny

Times - Tenth Avenue North

You Are More - Tenth Avenue North

Can't Get Over You - Anthem Lights

Our God's Alive - Andy Cherry

Keep Your Eyes Open - Needtobreathe

** Devil's Been Talkin' - Needtobreathe

** Monster Monster - The Almost

** Awful Direction - The Almost

How can I explain...

For those of you who don't know...

I believe that we all should be genuine in life. No matter what situation we are in. I believe that we should be genuine in friendships, romantic relationships, and just any relationship in general.

I believe that we should not be afraid to share what we are struggling with – because you never know who is struggling with the same thing, and maybe that person is too afraid to be upfront with their struggles.

I believe when we open up and are honest with how we feel, it encourages others to do the same – which causes growth and helps people to feel free and accepted.

That is kind of the purpose behind this blog – so I can share what I am going through; my struggles, my thoughts, things I am learning, and even just fun experiences. And hopefully along the way, I am able to encourage people to open up with who they really are and what they are struggling with! 

Besides causing personal growth, I feel our experiences are meant for us to share, so we are able to help each other and walk along one another in this crazy thing called life!

I tried to hide my true self.

For a Very. Long. Time.

I tried to hide what I wanted, how I felt, my daily thoughts, my passions, my desires, my random day dreams…everything. Because I was in a position where I would only be criticized for who I really was.

In the end – hiding who I really was – only turned me into someone I never wanted to be.

It suffocated me. There were times I literally couldn’t breathe.

It took me a very long time to realize that I hid these things and put myself in this position because I did not truly love myself.

I have recently been made aware of something…

I have been making it a point to constantly remind myself of this recent discovery, so I can be constantly aware of how much I need to work on it…

I struggle.

With something that I hate to admit that I struggle with.

I hate to admit it because this thing is not one bit good for me. In fact, it is horrible for me. It is toxic.


And I wish so badly that I were so far above it.

This is the type of struggle that I just want to hide away from the world – The kind that I don’t ever want anyone to know about…

The kind that I would just love to mask with pretend laugher and fake smiles…

I have a habit.

An extremely bad habit.

A habit, that if I do not break it, it will overcome me and lead me down a very dark path.

I have a habit of putting faces to my struggles.

I have a habit of putting people’s names on my wars.

Bitterness.

It almost seems that every other feeling is easy to mask.

If you’re too sad you can put on a smile.

If you’re too happy you can try to contain it.

But if you’re bitter – it’s like this toxic plague that taunts you and compels you taunt others.

It’s completely destroying.

And when you’re bitter – it’s easy to take it out on anything and everything.

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood…” Ephesians 6:12

We are always going to be in constant battle – but not against each other.

It is easy to remind myself that my struggle’s are not against other people. But when bitterness steps in – it takes it to a whole new level.

Bitterness is not just being upset.

It is letting thoughts of anger cloud your judgement. It can fill your mind with thoughts of situations that do not even exist – it can cause you to create a world of potential conversations and scenarios that won’t even ever happen and make you resent people who never even provoked the first stages of the bitterness in the first place.

It causes you to re-live past experiences and situations over and over again.

“Bitterness is not just a giant…it is a disease which torments and plagues you.” – Chuck Swindoll

“And this is what I would say to anybody who immerses himself or herself in bitterness toward the end of their life: The only person you’re harming is yourself.” – Harold Kushner

I have been extremely bitter before.

I was very bitter for a very long time. So bitter – That I remember I shut off all of my emotions for over a year and never even shed a tear – even when some pretty devastating things happened.

Once you have tasted bitterness – you know how harmful and dangerous it can be – but at the same time – you know it can be used as a shield in a way.

A shield that you want to use to “guard your heart” and “protect yourself”.

But this is far from what it does.

It’s scary how bitterness can be consciously meant to be used as a wall. It can make you feel strong and independent – but really, I believe it is self-defeating beyond belief.

I have found that it is so much better to be open about anger and hurt – in a loving and respectful way of course. Because in the end – if you let yourself become bitter – you will only hurt yourself more than you ever imagined.

God doesn’t call us to live this way.

He says that we are free.

“When you have a right-standing relationship with God, you have a life of freedom, liberty, and delight…” Oswald Chambers

A life of freedom, liberty, and delight.

Not a life of restriction and deprivation or bitterness and self-defeat.

We are free.

Free from pain and anger and hurt and the chains that have been holding us down.

Free from what we have done in our past and what we will do in our future.

Free from bitterness.

Free from everything we don't like about ourselves.

We are amazing.

No matter how random, crazy, goofy, or awkward we are. We are incredible.

And the people who try to tell you otherwise, are just as hurt and insecure and unsure of themselves as you are. So love them back.

Don’t let Satan use other people as tools to hold you back and bring you down.

Don’t let your fears and insecurities keep you in horrible situations and out of healthy ones.

Love yourself.

Free yourself.

Winter Wonder...Spring...?

There has been a lot going on lately!

I just got back from my parents house in California and it was so much fun!

We went to Disneyland on Friday and I fell in love…again…

I am such a little kid when it comes to theme parks…I will admit it – I was so excited to go to Disneyland (I hadn’t been in a whole year…) that when we were on the tram on the way into the park…I might have shed a few tears…I wish I could say I were kidding…

That is totally me though – I am such a sucker for cheesy fantasy stuff. At Christmas time, Disneyland has this little production where at night they have fireworks and this old lady over the loud speaker talking about dreams and how they really do come true, then at the end, they have snow falling from the sky…and I cry…every single time…I don’t know how many times I have seen the production…but I still cry…

And this time we saw World of Color – which I had never seen before. If you have not seen it, I completely recommend it. It is absolutely amazing!! It is so beautiful! It is a show they put on in California Adventure using lights and water and projections. And of course there is music in the background.

It went through all the different Disney stories – it was incredible!

This part was with Pocahontas - so there are trees...

And Lion King of course! It was so beautiful...

Surprisingly - I actually didn't cry through World of Color. I really thought I was going to at first...but it was a false alarm. Though I did almost drop my phone in the water while I was taking pictures...and then I would have DEFINITELY cried...!

It rained off and on while we were at Disneyland on Friday and my favorite ride is of course a water ride: Splash Mountain. And I literally never get wet on that ride...so we go on it of course! And what happens? I get soaked. I was stuck wearing wet pants all day...it was so uncomfortable...but totally worth it =]!

Friday night we went to Rainforest Cafe - one of my favorites! Mainly because of the elephants! I love elephants...

Then it snowed off and on all day Saturday and pretty hard all day Sunday. It is funny to me because I grew up having all four seasons – That is actually what my hometown is known for; “The Land of the Four Seasons” – sounds so exciting right…?

Yeah…I didn’t think it was very exciting either when I was growing up – but now that I live in Phoenix where we basically have only 2 seasons – it really is very exciting and I miss it a lot! Especially fall – fall in Tehachapi is so beautiful! Okay and Spring too…It is just such a beautiful little town…

I have always HATED snow growing up – I hate being cold. And I absolutely hate being wet and cold.

But I was so excited this weekend when it snowed – I felt like a little kid again! I was so amazed by it hah…I just had to laugh at myself!

It is so strange to me that most of my friends have never seen what my house or even my hometown look like! I guess that is just what happens when you move to a different state and make friends there! So I have taken the liberty to just show some pictures of the beautiful snow…and maybe from those pictures – you will get kind of an idea of what good ol’ Tehachapi looks like…

 Saturday when it started snowing...

Sunday morning:

Driving home from town Sunday evening...

Then waking up this morning:

It is funny because growing up – I actually hated Tehachapi. But isn’t that how almost every child/teenager is? Just itching to get out and away from everything they know – antsy for change and a new world with new faces and new stories. But now – I love it so much. It’s funny how life seems to have a way of doing that – the things you think you want nothing to do with – gradually become the things you miss the most and grow to love…

It is a very quaint town. My family actually lives in a gated community, which is a valley…where everyone knows everyone – picture kind of like the Truman Show or Pleasant Ville…though I am not sure I want to use that example...but mostly everyone in the community is super friendly. My best friend from Alaska (who I met while I was at school in Phoenix) visited my hometown with me one spring break and she went on a run by herself one day and was trying to stop cars and ask for directions, but everyone just thought she was being friendly so they just waved and smiled right back…haha this kind of made her frustrated…and if you knew her – her being frustrated would make you laugh…

I was pretty bummed on Sunday though because Church was cancelled because of all of the snow. Yes – I come from a town where roads close and church gets canceled if there is too much snow! Haha – it is so funny for me to think about because I have not had to worry about something like that in such a long time…

But after the roads opened up on Sunday, I did get to see my friend Davia!! I love her so much! She is such a beautiful person! And it makes me really sad to think of how I barely ever get to see her and my other friends from Tehachapi! But we got to talk and catch up and I really enjoyed it so much. She also invited me on a very exciting adventure, which will be coming up here pretty soon and of course…when the word “adventure” is involved…I am totally down! So I really cannot wait for that!!!

Then today my parents and I built a snowman…

which I am VERY excited about...as you can see from the picture...

My dad added the "Red Solo Cup" to him...

On the way to the airport we stopped and had dinner with my grandparents – which I was very excited about because I hardly ever get to see them.

I love my family so much. I am so thankful for them...

So…so much has been going on…I haven’t really had time to blog at all…which has actually been kind of nice to take a break from it – but at the same time – I feel like there are lost thoughts that I did not keep track of haha! Oh well…

But I just wanted to write about my weekend…

And of course…more blogging to come this week!

But until then...my mission is to find more synonyms for the words "beautiful" "excited" and "fun"!

Happy Monday Night/extremely early Tuesday Morning!

Everybody, Everybody wants to Love...

I overheard a story yesterday while I was at Starbucks. I eavesdrop. A lot. Yes, I am nosey…anyone reading this is probably not surprised.

Whether this story was real or not – it sure tickled my feathers…

I was at my favorite Starbucks and these two, what looked like, college age girls were sitting at the table right behind me. They were talking about relationships and one of the girls started telling a story of her grandparents. Supposedly this is how it went:

(get ready for the cutest [hopefully true] story ever told/heard)

So this girls’ grandfather was in love with the girls’ grandmother from the moment he met her. He didn’t know if they were “meant” to be together, but he knew it was something he wanted to pursue (apparently the grandmother did not feel the same…). So after some persuasion, the grandfather finally got the grandmother to have dinner with him at least one day a month just so he could spend time with her and get to know her, in hopes that she would get to know him and fall in love with him as well. How long do you think they kept this up for? Well…if I were the grandmother I would probably do one of two things…A. realize “hey I want to get to know this person better…so let’s make it at least one date a week…” or B. “Yeah this is not even worth the one day a month – I’m bored.” And if I were the grandfather I would probably say “Hey lady, you like me or you don’t. Are you going to date me for reals or should I find a new babe to stalk with my patient, yet obsessive personality?”

They had one dinner a month….for 2 years. Two years? Seriously? ONE dinner a month for two…whole…years…? Now…I am no math expert but I am pretty sure that only gives 24 dates…that is basically 2 months worth of dates…in two whole years…(yes, I am going to keep thinking of different ways to say this)

I don’t even know what to say about that.

But apparently it got her attention and they are married now (hence the granddaughter telling the story) and the granddaughter was saying how they are happiest and most romantic couple ever.

Kind of weird…

Whether this story is true or not…and I really hope it is, It is really such a beautiful story. I think it is the perfect example of love and patience.

It really made me smile…

Two things stuck out to me from todays devotional:

“The purpose of the Pentecost was not to teach the disciples something, but to make them the incarnation of what they preached so that they would literally become God’s message in the flesh.”

And

“Before God’s message can liberate other people, His liberation must first be real in you.”

I know what I want to do. And I know what God is calling me to do. I know what message He wants me to give to other people.

I know what my desires are and the passions that Christ has laid on my heart. And I know ultimately what setting I want to be in to display these passions, but until then – I know that I can carry out my passion right here and now: I want to love people.

I want to love people with God’s love and show people the love of Christ through me.

We all need love. Everyone does. Even those grumpy people who don’t want to admit they need to feel loved and wanted…they know deep down they are just dying for someone to tear down their walls and show them a love that they could not deny.

Fact: There is, has been, and always will be pain in this world.

Everyone has pain in their life and everyone has things they are struggling with.

But God has given us millions of other people in the world to lean on.

No one has to be alone in their struggles and pain. That’s the design and beauty of community. God carries us in our struggles by using others to help.

The love of God cannot and will not be exhausted. So I never want to stop living in it and showing it to others.

Thinking back to the story I heard about the grandparents…what if God had something for you, and you knew what that was, but God’s plan was for you to desire that thing and pursue it for 2 years, and then you could have it. Only, He did not tell you what the outcome was going to be and instead, just simply let you continue to pursue it. Do you think you would last two whole years? If your passion and desire for it was great enough then yes, I am sure you could. I have had the same desire and passion since I was in High School.

But sometimes it is not always that easy…

There is something that I really want – and I definitely do feel that Christ has put that desire on my heart. Only…I am just praying for His timing.

What if His timing takes two years for me…?

Will I be able to last that long…?

Or will I start to lose hope and my faith be shaken?

All I know is, I can do what I want to do right now and live my passion in another way for the time being – I can love people and be a reflection of God’s love.

From me to YOU...

Today I just want to relax. I just want to rest in His arms.

I debated going for a drive far into the desert and stopping when it got dark, just to lie on the roof of my car to look at the stars…but then decided I didn’t really want to waste the gas…

I also debated going for a hike but then thought about 127 Hours and how it probably wasn’t the smartest idea to be out hiking by myself…

So here I am…lying on my balcony drowning in my blankets…I love it. I cannot believe I have never done this before…It’s funny how sometimes when all you want to do is just get away; you find peace in the very place you are itching to get away from.

God knows what you need.

I have been so restless lately – I think I write that a lot. So I guess it is not very unusual for me…But…sometimes it is worse than others…

There has been SO much going on lately…but nothing that I really want to give away yet…

I can say, however, that I have been so encouraged lately…it has been incredible.

I have been struggling quite a bit – with such random things…mainly I cannot get my mind to focus. It is everywhere…and today it finally just hit me that I have been going after everything I feel God is leading me towards lately and now it is just time for me rest and let God take it from here.

If you know me, you probably know that I ALWAYS like to be doing stuff. I like to be alone at times – yes, but even then I am either working on a craft or some other form of “busy work”. But I just LOVE community. I love people. And I LOVE relationships.

But today it kind of just hit me all of a sudden that I need to *Be Still*

And just listen…

Am I listening for instruction from God?

Am I listening for His voice telling me what to do next?

I think I am listening for Him, because I keep myself so busy, and He is just trying to get me to relax for a moment so He can tell me that He loves me.

I have amazing friends. Really.

If you knew how genuine and open I could be with my friends – you’d see how full of grace and Gods love and compassion they are.

Even just now I broke down on my roommate. I didn’t mean to. Poor Roomie…haha if only she knew what she was getting herself into before she decided to move in with me…

I just walked in the door and interrupted her movie. Sat down on my medicine ball and…there go the waterworks…

What can I say – I am a girl. I am emotional. I try so much to be strong – but sometimes I just cannot contain it.

Plus – I am a firm believer in allowing other people to feel comfortable enough to be themselves…no matter how they are feeling – I want to provide a safe place for them to come to and tell me anything they want…so most of the time I figure everyone is just like me and they don’t mind if I just lay my whole life on the table right now…

Anywho…what did Roomie do…pause her movie and encourage me to let it out.

I have amazing friends.

Maybe you’re thinking – “eh, my friends would do the same thing…” And I really do hope you are right. I hope you have amazing friends to rely on and run to.

People who you can be genuine with and who will love you no matter what and listen to every word you have to say – no matter how many times you have to vent about the same thing to them.

Everyone needs friends and relationships like this. It is how it is meant to be.

But you have to understand – I know what it is like to not have any encouragement in my life.

I know what it is like to, instead of being built up and loved every day, being torn down and ridiculed every day.

Instead of being told how beautiful I am and how much worth I have – I know what it is like to be made to feel hopeless and worthless.

Instead of having people to rely on and run to – I know what it is like to be surrounded by bodies – and still be alone.

I am sure many people know what this is like – and if you do – then you know how amazing it is when you have people in your life that just plain love you and love on you.

I have been wanting to write about my friends for quite awhile now and how they encourage me.

I just want to encourage people right now…anyone who is reading this – I really hope you feel encouraged by the time you are done…

I wish I could name all of my friends by name and tell you how precious they are to me and how much they have encouraged me just this week alone. But for the sake of privacy (what’s that?) I will leave names out of it…

One of my friends and I have been talking quite a bit about what God wants us to do – actually…quite a few of my friends and I have been talking about it…

And she was just encouraging me to have faith: “It is all about faith. Just pure faith. Not about our past, present, or future—anything we’ve done, are doing or will do.”

Faith.

Faith.

She continued…

“But God wants us to focus on who He is and what He did and what He does—not what people think of us, not on our works as if we have something to prove to God, not on what we do or don’t do. We simply are—we are not our own, but His. And he loves who we are. Each day we face death—each and every day because we can’t escape sin. So it is Him who gives us strength, He who keeps us going. And all we need is faith, looking to Him and not ourselves. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking about yourself less.”

She is Beautiful. And smart for quoting C.S. Lewis =]

She has helped me through more than she will ever know…

Another friend has been there for me through absolutely everything. She has seen me at my ultimate lowest. And yet, no matter what – she STILL loves and encourages me.

The same friend who I get caught making chipmunk noises with at Starbucks and who ALWAYS seems to say the wrong thing at the wrong time – making things VERY awkward…but extremely entertaining at the same time…

Then there is one of my other friends. Oh I love him. Every girl would love him.

“You deserve the fairytale. Noble steed – Prince Charming – glass slipper – sweep you off your feet – Happily ever after. You deserve it all.”

Like I said…Every girl would love him…

Then there’s another…get us together and we could literally talk FOR HOURS. We both love to talk. And we both LOVE to laugh. Put us together and we are the happiest people in one room – probably the most annoying as well…but he’s been there for me when I very least deserved it…

Friends that you have betrayed and still accept you back. Yes, those friends who tried to warn you about something and you ignored them. These friends show me a true image of Christ’s love. And I love them.

They don’t judge me.

They don’t hold things against me.

They make me feel loved and accepted and wanted.

They truly love me.

I hope everyone has friends like these.

And the friend who threatened to call the cops on someone who was bothering you. Haha – I LOVE this friend…

And Of course…the friends who will be an absolute nut with me all day at work and help make the day go by much faster =]

Friends who send me creepy pictures of zombies, saying they’re “spreading the dead” and put pictures of velociraptors, awkward family photos, and Sarah Palin on my desktop at work…

The friends who help me push my car when it breaks down…

The friends who let me borrow their cars when mine breaks down…

The friends who offer to lend me money when my car breaks down…

The family who pays for a portion of my broke down car…

(Are you getting the hint that my car breaks down a lot…hmm…how’d you know?)

And…the friends who offer to go to a certain place with me to make a certain situation a little less awkward…haha…even when all I have to repay them is a sticky note with the letters “I. O. U.” on it….hey…That’s as good as money sir…

Even people you least expect it from can encourage you…a few weeks ago I had coffee with an old friend and something he said that stood out to me more than anything was along the lines of: “You will never have more joy than when you are living out the passions that Christ has given you and doing what God wants you to do.”

This made an impact on me greater than he will ever know.

It’s the little things that make a difference and matter. And believe it or not – it is the little things that really stand out.

Just a phone call to let someone know you are thinking about them…

Or a text message…

Or a coffee date – to let someone know you’re sorry for being so busy – but you really value their friendship and you want to catch up with them…

Maybe a little note with encouraging words…

Or flowers…or…when I was going through a rough time awhile ago, one of my friends from work knew I was really sad, so she sent me a picture of flowers to make me feel better =] and it really helped. It let me know she cared and she was thinking about me…

Or chocolate…or heck – any kind of food…I LOVE making people dinner…I am not claiming that I am any good at it…just saying I love doing it. There is just something about dinner parties…

There is always something that can be done to show someone you appreciate them.

Words that encourage me:

“His grace is reaching for us…”

Those times that you are pouring out your heart and struggles to God and He is just there responding: “It’s okay…I got this…”

HE holds onto ME.

I am made new.

A personal personal favorite: He hasn’t removed the shackles from our necks just to place us in chains.

Satan can place doubts in your head but you have to give him the power to.

“Come to Me…and I will give you rest” … why do I not do this?

“When God gives you a clear determination of His will for you, all your striving to maintain that relationship by some particular method is completely unnecessary. All that is required is to live a natural life of absolute dependence on Jesus Christ.”      “Showing no concern for the uncertainties that lie ahead is the secret of walking with Jesus.”

There can never be a more beautiful you than you.

And of course…

“Breathe…Breathe…Breathe…”

If there is someone in your life who is an encouragement to you – I encourage you to let them know how they have touched your life…even if it is just a few words – I just think it is important to show the people who support you, that you support them in return.

After spending over a year of just being torn down - God is restoring me each day with beautiful people - showing me what His REAL LOVE is like.

If you don’t have real friends who show you Christ’s love – then pray for them. TRUST ME. My friends are an answer and gift from God. They are an answer to prayer – literally. Not too long ago I was literally praying that God would send me friends who loved me.

And I would love to be your friend =]

Do not be deceived by those who SAY they love you but only bring strife, trial, and insecurities to your life - please - please do not be deceived by them. And no matter how corny it sounds…actions, at times, can DEFINITELY speak louder than words.

I hope everyone has a B-E-A-UTIFUL evening =]