I debated going for a drive far into the desert and stopping when it got dark, just to lie on the roof of my car to look at the stars…but then decided I didn’t really want to waste the gas…
I also debated going for a hike but then thought about 127 Hours and how it probably wasn’t the smartest idea to be out hiking by myself…
So here I am…lying on my balcony drowning in my blankets…I love it. I cannot believe I have never done this before…It’s funny how sometimes when all you want to do is just get away; you find peace in the very place you are itching to get away from.
God knows what you need.
I have been so restless lately – I think I write that a lot. So I guess it is not very unusual for me…But…sometimes it is worse than others…
There has been SO much going on lately…but nothing that I really want to give away yet…
I can say, however, that I have been so encouraged lately…it has been incredible.
I have been struggling quite a bit – with such random things…mainly I cannot get my mind to focus. It is everywhere…and today it finally just hit me that I have been going after everything I feel God is leading me towards lately and now it is just time for me rest and let God take it from here.
If you know me, you probably know that I ALWAYS like to be doing stuff. I like to be alone at times – yes, but even then I am either working on a craft or some other form of “busy work”. But I just LOVE community. I love people. And I LOVE relationships.
But today it kind of just hit me all of a sudden that I need to *Be Still*
And just listen…
Am I listening for instruction from God?
Am I listening for His voice telling me what to do next?
I think I am listening for Him, because I keep myself so busy, and He is just trying to get me to relax for a moment so He can tell me that He loves me.
I have amazing friends. Really.
If you knew how genuine and open I could be with my friends – you’d see how full of grace and Gods love and compassion they are.
Even just now I broke down on my roommate. I didn’t mean to. Poor Roomie…haha if only she knew what she was getting herself into before she decided to move in with me…
I just walked in the door and interrupted her movie. Sat down on my medicine ball and…there go the waterworks…
What can I say – I am a girl. I am emotional. I try so much to be strong – but sometimes I just cannot contain it.
Plus – I am a firm believer in allowing other people to feel comfortable enough to be themselves…no matter how they are feeling – I want to provide a safe place for them to come to and tell me anything they want…so most of the time I figure everyone is just like me and they don’t mind if I just lay my whole life on the table right now…
Anywho…what did Roomie do…pause her movie and encourage me to let it out.
I have amazing friends.
Maybe you’re thinking – “eh, my friends would do the same thing…” And I really do hope you are right. I hope you have amazing friends to rely on and run to.
People who you can be genuine with and who will love you no matter what and listen to every word you have to say – no matter how many times you have to vent about the same thing to them.
Everyone needs friends and relationships like this. It is how it is meant to be.
But you have to understand – I know what it is like to not have any encouragement in my life.
I know what it is like to, instead of being built up and loved every day, being torn down and ridiculed every day.
Instead of being told how beautiful I am and how much worth I have – I know what it is like to be made to feel hopeless and worthless.
Instead of having people to rely on and run to – I know what it is like to be surrounded by bodies – and still be alone.
I am sure many people know what this is like – and if you do – then you know how amazing it is when you have people in your life that just plain love you and love on you.
I have been wanting to write about my friends for quite awhile now and how they encourage me.
I just want to encourage people right now…anyone who is reading this – I really hope you feel encouraged by the time you are done…
I wish I could name all of my friends by name and tell you how precious they are to me and how much they have encouraged me just this week alone. But for the sake of privacy (what’s that?) I will leave names out of it…
One of my friends and I have been talking quite a bit about what God wants us to do – actually…quite a few of my friends and I have been talking about it…
And she was just encouraging me to have faith: “It is all about faith. Just pure faith. Not about our past, present, or future—anything we’ve done, are doing or will do.”
Faith.
Faith.
She continued…
“But God wants us to focus on who He is and what He did and what He does—not what people think of us, not on our works as if we have something to prove to God, not on what we do or don’t do. We simply are—we are not our own, but His. And he loves who we are. Each day we face death—each and every day because we can’t escape sin. So it is Him who gives us strength, He who keeps us going. And all we need is faith, looking to Him and not ourselves. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking about yourself less.”
She is Beautiful. And smart for quoting C.S. Lewis =]
She has helped me through more than she will ever know…
Another friend has been there for me through absolutely everything. She has seen me at my ultimate lowest. And yet, no matter what – she STILL loves and encourages me.
The same friend who I get caught making chipmunk noises with at Starbucks and who ALWAYS seems to say the wrong thing at the wrong time – making things VERY awkward…but extremely entertaining at the same time…
“You deserve the fairytale. Noble steed – Prince Charming – glass slipper – sweep you off your feet – Happily ever after. You deserve it all.”
Like I said…Every girl would love him…
Then there’s another…get us together and we could literally talk FOR HOURS. We both love to talk. And we both LOVE to laugh. Put us together and we are the happiest people in one room – probably the most annoying as well…but he’s been there for me when I very least deserved it…
Friends that you have betrayed and still accept you back. Yes, those friends who tried to warn you about something and you ignored them. These friends show me a true image of Christ’s love. And I love them.
They don’t judge me.
They don’t hold things against me.
They make me feel loved and accepted and wanted.
They truly love me.
I hope everyone has friends like these.
And the friend who threatened to call the cops on someone who was bothering you. Haha – I LOVE this friend…
And Of course…the friends who will be an absolute nut with me all day at work and help make the day go by much faster =]
Friends who send me creepy pictures of zombies, saying they’re “spreading the dead” and put pictures of velociraptors, awkward family photos, and Sarah Palin on my desktop at work…
The friends who help me push my car when it breaks down…
The friends who let me borrow their cars when mine breaks down…
The friends who offer to lend me money when my car breaks down…
The family who pays for a portion of my broke down car…
(Are you getting the hint that my car breaks down a lot…hmm…how’d you know?)
And…the friends who offer to go to a certain place with me to make a certain situation a little less awkward…haha…even when all I have to repay them is a sticky note with the letters “I. O. U.” on it….hey…That’s as good as money sir…
Even people you least expect it from can encourage you…a few weeks ago I had coffee with an old friend and something he said that stood out to me more than anything was along the lines of: “You will never have more joy than when you are living out the passions that Christ has given you and doing what God wants you to do.”
This made an impact on me greater than he will ever know.
It’s the little things that make a difference and matter. And believe it or not – it is the little things that really stand out.
Just a phone call to let someone know you are thinking about them…
Or a text message…
Or a coffee date – to let someone know you’re sorry for being so busy – but you really value their friendship and you want to catch up with them…
Maybe a little note with encouraging words…
Or flowers…or…when I was going through a rough time awhile ago, one of my friends from work knew I was really sad, so she sent me a picture of flowers to make me feel better =] and it really helped. It let me know she cared and she was thinking about me…
Or chocolate…or heck – any kind of food…I LOVE making people dinner…I am not claiming that I am any good at it…just saying I love doing it. There is just something about dinner parties…
There is always something that can be done to show someone you appreciate them.
Words that encourage me:
“His grace is reaching for us…”
Those times that you are pouring out your heart and struggles to God and He is just there responding: “It’s okay…I got this…”
HE holds onto ME.
I am made new.
A personal personal favorite: He hasn’t removed the shackles from our necks just to place us in chains.
Satan can place doubts in your head but you have to give him the power to.
“Come to Me…and I will give you rest” … why do I not do this?
“When God gives you a clear determination of His will for you, all your striving to maintain that relationship by some particular method is completely unnecessary. All that is required is to live a natural life of absolute dependence on Jesus Christ.” “Showing no concern for the uncertainties that lie ahead is the secret of walking with Jesus.”
There can never be a more beautiful you than you.
And of course…
“Breathe…Breathe…Breathe…”
If there is someone in your life who is an encouragement to you – I encourage you to let them know how they have touched your life…even if it is just a few words – I just think it is important to show the people who support you, that you support them in return.
After spending over a year of just being torn down - God is restoring me each day with beautiful people - showing me what His REAL LOVE is like.
If you don’t have real friends who show you Christ’s love – then pray for them. TRUST ME. My friends are an answer and gift from God. They are an answer to prayer – literally. Not too long ago I was literally praying that God would send me friends who loved me.
And I would love to be your friend =]
Do not be deceived by those who SAY they love you but only bring strife, trial, and insecurities to your life - please - please do not be deceived by them. And no matter how corny it sounds…actions, at times, can DEFINITELY speak louder than words.
I hope everyone has a B-E-A-UTIFUL evening =]
