I don't want to...but I'll be perfectly honest with you. I'm a complete fake. A fraud. I say one thing, do another and even think something entirely different.
I'm a bit of a psycho to put it mildly.
I try to talk so brave, but I'm probably one of the most fearful people I know.
People, are just people. No one is perfect. No one shows kindness and love 100% of the time. No one goes through life and never has selfish motives or actions.
It scares me, because people are imperfect and can be messy and crazy and even dangerous...and people are EVERYWHERE. All around us. All around us are people that can make us whole or tear us to pieces. People are unpredictable and unreliable.
People are sinners.
I am a sinner.
I'm imperfect and messy and crazy and I can be dangerous. I can build someone up or wreck them entirely. I'm like a loaded weapon, cocked and ready to fire at any minute. In self-defense, maybe - but whether i’m the first or second to fire doesn't really matter. What matters is that I fire at all. That I even take the shot. Because once something is done, it can never be undone.
It's scary knowing you. But it's also scary being me.
But in truth: fear is going to come. And it's going to want you to quit. Quit whatever it is that you are doing to grow and heal and make yourself better and stronger. It’s going to turn you into someone that you don’t want to be. It’s going to throw whatever thoughts or words or actions at you that it knows are going to cut you the deepest. How? Because not only is fear alive and well all around this world...but it's also very much alive and well within us. No matter how much it wants you to think otherwise, it lives and breathes.
Like a ravenous, blood-thirsty enemy, fear watches our every move. It studies us. It takes account of when we wake up in the morning and when we go to sleep at night. It sees what makes us bleed and what makes us thrive. And when we are most vulnerable, it attacks. And if that attack isn't enough, it learns our self-defense tactics and strikes again even harder, and if it needs to, it will strike again. It will keep striking until it finally breaks down our walls.
I am full of fear. And like that blood-thirsty enemy, I can attack at any moment.
Fear doesn't know how to surrender.
Fear holds us in the things that hurt us. Fear tells an abused woman that she can never leave an abusive relationship and even if she does, she'll never heal. Fear tells a young girl who's being bullied, that that's her life, so she might as well get used to it. Fear looks at a broken sinner and tells them it's okay to relive the past over and over again and dwell in their hurt. Fear tells us the cross of Christ is not enough to forgive us, or anyone who has hurt us. Fear destroys our soul, our mind and our sobriety. Fear keeps us helpless.
Fear tells us that we have to be afraid. It tells us that there’s no other way to live life. It traps and blinds us. It takes our insecurities and heightens them.
Fear tells us we can’t change, we won’t change.
If we finally work up enough courage to face fear head-on and try to conquer it - we need to fight it with its counterpart and replace it with something entirely opposite of it and MUCH more powerful, because fear is not going to give up easily.
What is the opposite of fear? What encourages us and grows us? What looks at our insecurities and calls us perfect? What heals and strengthens us? What sees our broken heart and mends its wounds? LOVE
“The beauty of LOVE is that it can drive out fear if you allow it.” - Steve Carter
Love lays down its pride. Unlike fear, love doesn't encourage hate or hostility. Love doesn't mock or ridicule us.
Love will listen to your deepest hurts - but it won't leave you there. It won't allow you to dwell and obsess over it. It'll pick you up, help you to dust yourself off, and push you. Push you to grow. To learn. Push you to become better than you ever were before.
Each day I have the ability to instill either LOVE or FEAR into someone else. Each person that crosses my path. Each person who comes into my work. Each person that calls me or texts me. I have a choice. I can show them love - or I can show them fear. I can raise their value - or I can diminish their spirits. I can point them to Christ - or I can mock everything they least like about themselves.
But I have to choose. I can’t have both. I can’t choose who I show love to and who I don’t show it to. I have to be consistent. Because if I choose love, I have to FULLY choose love. And by doing that I have to FULLY reject fear. Because “there is NO FEAR IN LOVE.” (1 John 4:18)
And if I choose love. Then I choose to love EVERYONE. And I cannot deny the way they were created. Love WILL NOT disrespect another person or dismiss the image of God in them. Love WILL NOT open its arms to you and then ridicule everything you have to lay at its feet. Love WILL NOT show you kindness one minute and betray you the next. Love WILL NOT put on a mask and pretend to be something it’s not. LOVE CANNOT BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT IT IS.
So I encourage you - let go of fear. Let go of anything and everything holding you back in life. Let go of all the negativity and hurt that you have been holding on to and may even be creating. Let yourself HEAL and let yourself LOVE. And if anything tries to stop you or tear you down - LET GO OF IT. No matter what or who it is. Let them go. No matter what FEAR tells you, you don’t need them! You don’t need anything or anyone that tears you down in life. Because they are NOT love.
The amazing thing is - that when you let go of fear and all of its negativities and lies, the way you look at others will change. The way you look at yourself will change. You’ll realize that you’re strong and capable and not too many things will be able to hurt you - because you’ll be able to recognize the fear all around you and the fear in other people and instead of seeing their words and/or actions as ammo - you’ll see it as exactly what it is: FEAR.
But don’t return their fear with your own. Build them up. Raise their value. Show them love.
Fear doesn't want you to grow, but love, “…Love’s flames are fiery flames - the fiercest of all” (Song of Songs 8:6). Fear wont give up easily - but neither will love. Love will fight. And love will conquer.
The story is already written. Love has already won.
